Hey y'all! For the past couple of weeks, I've been binge watching Gossip Girl on Netflix. I'm kinda ashamed to admit it, but I'm addicted to it already (hence the binge watching). Because of this, I started thinking more about how much I longed for a relationship like Dan & Serena's at the beginning of the season. The way that Dan looks at Serena is like he sees only her. She's the only person in a crowded room. Nobody else matters in that moment. He constantly thought about her, & he couldn't wait until he could see her again. I know what you may be thinking: "but they didn't last" (spoiler alert!). I know that, but in the beginning of their relationship, it was romantic. They couldn't help but stay away, & even through their fights, they still managed to find their way back to each other. It reminds me of the classic princess fairytales. The prince & princess are in the same room as each other. All of a sudden, the prince sees the princess, & it's like in that moment he sees no one else but her. His full attention is focused on her. The other aspect that I love is that the prince isn't afraid to walk up to the beautiful princess & tell her EXACTLY how he feels. I may not be the most girly or romantic girl, but I do want a moment like that. Especially with formal being tomorrow night, I always imagine my "prince" coming to ask me to dance & then paying attention to me as if I was the only other person in the room. Sounds crazy right?! But it's what almost every girl fantasizes about. She wants to feel special. She wants all the attention, from that one guy, to be solely on her. I call it "the princess moment". With this generation, especially the guys at my college, they are told repeatedly to "man up" & tell girls how they feel. They're supposed to ask us on a date. They're supposed to initiate conversation. We (girls) are supposed to stand back & let them make that move. In the Christian community in the south it's stressed even more. The problem is that most guys chiken out & blame it on "God hasn't given me a sign to go ahead & ask her. It must not be the right time." If I've learned anything about God, it's that He could be telling you to do something & you're just not listening, or He could be waiting for you to do something so that He can steer you in the right direction. I shouldn't be thinking about this kind of stuff right now with everything else stacking up in my life, but I'm a human & a girl. Our minds go 50 billion miles an hour thinking about this topic specifically. We take every little gesture & over analyze it. "Did he just smile at me?" "Does he think I'm cute?" "Wow! That was embarassing! He'll never talk to me again!" "Do I look okay today?" "Why isn't he paying attention to me?" "Is he looking at her?" "What's wrong with me?" "What does she have that I don't?" These thoughts are stupid, but they're common questions in a girl's mind. For most girls, or at least the ones I know, only want to find their "prince", settle down, get married, & have a family. These thoughts come up more often around dances, weddings, when becomes "Facebook official" with someone else, when someone gets married, when someone has kids, & when we watch/listen/read anything romantic. It's these things that grip our attention. The worst part of it is waiting for those events to happen to us. We're happy for that person in that moment, but sometimes in side we're slightly jealous & start to ask the same questions again & have self-doubt. With Cru formal approaching VERY soon, & the fact that I'm single at 22, I am having that image of my "princess" moment & ask all of the questions more than ever. I dream about it. I yearn for it. It's a pitiful way to think about it. I know that God has a plan for me, but as I've stated in other blogs, I'm really impatient. I've started looking back at past realtionships & guys that I "talked" to once & question why things never worked out with us. Was it me? Was it him? Was it mutual? What am I missing? Those stupid questions! Oh well, if that moment is meant to be then it'll happen. Until then I'll keep dreaming of my "princess" moment to happen. Things will be okay.
Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)
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