To the guy who set the bar high for my dating life:
You probably won't ever read this, but I'm still gonna say it. But even then, you probably still wouldn't know that this is about you. I've told you to your face (well actually over text) how I feel. And I can't say that the feelings I'm currently having are permanent, but for now, you've set the bar high.
I came to this conclusion after thinking about why I don't date someone. While it's true that I've thought guys were cute and tried to "talk" to them, inside I back out and find some little thing that makes me say, "I can't do this. This isn't gonna work out." It could be as tiny as him liking country music or he asks me too personal questions. But why?! Why do I let these little things get in the way of what could be a good guy?! The answer is: you.
So what is it about you that attracts me to you? The main thing is that we just connect and I feel comfortable around you. That doesn't happen! I'm not gonna act like it was an instant connection. When we met almost 3 years ago, I just saw you as the class clown of the place. As of maybe a year and a half, we started getting closer. Both of our walls were broken down. I opened up to you about my past. You told me all about your past. And we've even expressed to each other that we know each other better than anyone else in our lives, including our closest friends and family. You're the guy I couldn't go a day without talking to for months. You were the first text when I was having a panic attack. You were the first person I texted when I just needed someone to talk to or had a funny story to tell. Because you get me! I don't have to fake it with you.
Are you my "perfect guy"? No. But then again, is there such a thing? So then why aren't we dating? Well the answer is simple, I think: you're not into me in the same way I'm into you. When I told you that I had a crush on you, your response wasn't judgemental. In fact, it was sweet. I remember you saying, "Why were you nervous to tell me? Why did it take you this long? We tell each other everything. I would never make things weird." That's paraphrased, but those were basically your words. To the normal person, that would've been seen as you being interested. But like I said, I know you. And I know that I'm not your type. We constantly have conversations about both of us being single and when we're interested in other people. Although, it's mostly you telling me about the newest girl you think is cute and why she's "out of your league". But it's that kind of thing that keeps the crush around I think.
You're not like any other guy. You've got this goofy, sensitive side to you that makes you even more attactive. You're no Ryan Gosling, but you've got your own cuteness about you. It's something that most people don't see unless they really know you. I mean I know things about you that even your roommate doesn't know. But it's that level of trust that's kept our friendship strong.
Speaking of friendship, I think that factor plays a lot into why I have an "on and off crush" on you. You're one of my closest guy friends, closest friend in general actually. It's one of those things where my perfect type is like my best friend, but also I don't want to ruin an epic friendship by trying out the whole dating thing (if that were even an option in your book). Like I said before, you're the person I go to for everything. From relationship advice, to good laughs, to rant sessions, and even fashion advice. We're not the standard guy-girl friendship!
But I see the real you. I even see things that you can't see yourself. Not only are you hilarious, but you're sassy, funny, kind, caring, compassionate, hardworking, and passionate. You melt when you see a cute kid. You put other's feelings before your own. You do anything to make someone smile. You have a heart of gold! And yet, you look at yourself and just see a sappy guy who makes jokes and gets swept under the rug. But you don't give yourself the credit you deserve. You're one of the best people I know!
Here's the thing, and the main point of this article, you have ruined my standards of what I'm looking for in a guy. I thought my standards were high before, but I'm looking for someone like you. Someone who cares about others and doesn't take life too seriously. Someone that I have tons of things in common with, and yet who is the opposite of me in every other way. Sure, I'm also searching for a guy who is way more in tuned with his relationship with Christ than you are. But overall, I've realized that you are basically as close to my type as I think I'll ever find, at least in Kentucky.
As I'm writing this, I know that we have limited time to hang out together before you graduate and get a job outside of the state. And I know that we'll stop talking as much. I'll maybe see you once every few months if you come in and actually stop by. So, I'm taking the time to sort out these feelings and realize that the possibility that we will end up together is slim to none. I mean things could happen, but it's very unlikely. And hopefully you'll find yourself a girl who treats you well and is the right person for you wherever you get a job. Do I wish you didn't have to go out of state? Yes. But things will be easier and I'll just have to get used to doing life without you only a half hour away and getting to hang out at least once a week. But you know my thoughts. And who knows, maybe I can find someone at least half as great as you.
Well I said it. You're the reason why I have high standards. So thank you sir! In all reality, I wish things would work out for us. But I'm also glad to have a friend as great as you, and I want us to stay this way for as long as we can. Thanks for everything!
Sincerely,
The Girl with High Standards and A Great Guy Friend
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