Out of My Mind Series #4: Connor Franta

WARNING: The following post is going to be very controversial. These are my own thoughts and ideas, but I am in no way saying that they are right. Read at your own risk.

Hey yall! So if you're a huge fan of Connor Franta, like me, you'll know that Connor posted a video yesterday about him confessing that he's gay. For me, I way sad for 2 reasons: 1) I'm super attracted to him! (which my roommate pointed out several times yesterday, LOW BLOW!) and 2) According to the Bible, he will not be allowed into the Kingdom of Heaven when he dies (1 Timothy 1:10; 1 Corinthians 6:9), which he said in a video that he is not religious so that wouldn't matter to him. I am still a fan of him no matter what though, and he is still one of my favorite Youtubers. The thing that made me mad was that several people were saying, "this goes against my religion." I don't like that people use that line as a way of saying that they do not support Connor's sexuality. I am not saying that I support it either, but I still love and respect Connor as a human and as a Youtuber. As a Christian, instead of saying that it's against your religion, we should be showing Connor God's love! That's what the Bible tells us to do. Jesus himself hung out with people like Connor all the time. He hung out with the sexually immoral, the tax collectors, the murderers, the idolators, etc. Basically, Jesus didn't just spend time with other Christians. He reached out to sinners and non-Christians and showed them the love of Christ. Christians are meant to hate the sin not the sinner. With comments that are clearing sounding like you are hating on Connor because he confirmed he was gay, that is sending vibes that you don't like him anymore because of one video. In reality, if you actually watch Connor's videos, this news shouldn't come as a shock to anyone (including myself). I think somewhere inside I wanted to make him out to be my dream guy. The perfect guy for me. Deep down though, I knew that we had more in common than I wanted to believe. I don't look at him any less than I did though. I'm sure that when Troye Sivan made his coming out video, people gave him the same reaction too. I love Troye as well, but I'm not gonna look at anyone who is gay any less than I would someone who is straight. I cannot control what they say or do or feel. The only person who is in control of that is God. So, all I can do is love that person the same way that God does, with an endless love. It's like the Bible story of the adultress who was sentenced to be stoned. Jesus said, "Whoever is without sin cast the first stone." Nobody could throw the stone, because nobody is perfect, except Jesus. In this whole debate, Connor being gay is on the same level to God as if I were to lie to someone. Sin is sin, but none of us are perfect. We have no right to judge. I have always lived by the philosophy of, "hate the sin not the sinner." This is one of those times when that reigns true. I'll still continue to love Connor and his videos. He's still one of my favorite people on YouTube. Nothing will change that. I believe that true Christians would feel the same. I have friends who are gay, and I still love them the same as I did before. I will still show them the Gospel, but I can't force them to believe until they let Jesus into their hearts and are willing to change for Him. I can only be the seed that shows them the way. I know that a lot of people may not agree with me, but that's okay. The series that I started on this blog is about getting out my feelings and turning them into blogs. This is one of the many things that has been swirling around in my head this week. In conclusion, remember the words of John 3:16-17: "16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that we might be saved through him."

Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)

Out of My Mind Series #3 - Fears

Hey y'all! Happy belated Thanksgiving! Hope you're stuffed full of food & remember what you're truly thankful for. This post is about a topic that is the opposite of being thankful. I got to thinking about it after watching this week's O2L videos. That subject is fear. That got me thinking about what I truly fear. Here's the list:

1. Spiders - The includes spiders of ALL sizes! If I even see a tiny one I will completely freak out. It's gotten better as I've gotten older, but I am the poster child for aracnidphobia. The thought of the concept of the movie "Eight Legged Freaks" is my worst nightmare! I can't even watch the scenes in the second Harry Potter movie with all of the spiders without covering my eyes or skipping that part. The closest I've gotten to watching anything with a spider in it is "Miss Spider's Sunny Patch" (I think that's the name of it. It's a kids show.) I was barely able to watch "Charlotte's Web." (Don't get me started on spider webs.)
2. The unknown - This may be a bit irrational, but there's something about the unknown that freaks me out. I'm 22 now & will graduate from college with my bachelor's degree in elementary education, but I don't know if I really wanna teach kids for the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong, I like kids, but the thought of tons of kids relying on me to teach them what they need to know scared me. I'm not really a planner, but I like to have at least an outline of what could happen, & if it happens it happens. The fear of the unknown brings me to my next fear...
3. Being alone forever - This is another one of those things where I'm 22, & I see everyone around me either getting into relationships, getting engaged, getting married, or having kids. In the south, it's uncommon for me to not at be dating a guy by now. It's even worse being a Christian, where young marriage is very common. The thought of being that crazy cat (or dog) lady is a scary thought for me! I just saw 2 of my close friends get engaged this weekend, & I'm completely happy for them, but it also made me scared that I could never have that. I know it's not up to me to decide who I'll date or marry or when, but I can't help but be scared of being alone.
4. Getting into a wreck - I usually only think about this when I'm in the car. I've been pretty close to getting in an accident, but it scares the crap out of me to think that my car could be hit & no one would know what happened to me. This fear is more about others than me. I don't want to worry my friends or family. I always think of what could happen if I'm in the middle of nowhere & be in a fatal accident.
5. Scary movies - This is the last one I'll talk about. I'm a huge scaredy cat when it comes to scary movies. I cover my eyes when I think something scary will happen. I jump easily. My friends make fun of me. It's not cool! 

That's all for this post. Have a great week! Happy Thanksgiving!

Live for God & Love for Music! 

- Patience <3 =)

Out of My Mind Series #2 - Who would you be?

Hey yall! Welcome back to another edition of my "Out of My Mind Series". This week I've been thinking about my brother. No, I'm not talking about my step-brother Jimbob. I'm talking about my biological brother, Tommy. Some things you should know before I begin: 1. His full name was Thomas Leon Cox (my dad and grandpa's middle names); 2. He passed away when he was 15 days old from Crib Death; 3. He was older than me; 4. He would have been 27; 5. One of my really good friends has the same birthday as he did (July 30); & 6. Most people don't even know I have a brother. Like I said before, I've been thinking a lot like him. What would he look like? Would we have been close? Would he have gone to college? Would he have any talents? Would he have the Cox eyes? Would he look more like my mom or my dad? Several things to think about. Here's how I picture him:

He would be pretty attractive, and my friends would have the hugest crush on him. He would play soccer or football, but in his spare time he would play in a band. He would have had dark brown hair & hazel eyes (like most of my family). We would've been really close, like the siblings you see on tv that are practically best friends. He would've been popular but still talked to everyone and never singled anyone out. He would have an awesome fiance'/wife who all of us would get along with. He would've had some rocky teenage years but would've matured a lot once he got to college. I think he would've went to either EKU or UK and would've been a part of Cru (just like me). Professors and teachers would have loved him. If he was anything like the rest of our family, I bet he also would have been stubborn as a mule. His friends would also be my friends, for the most part. He would have traveled the world by now doing mission trips. His major would be criminal justice. We would bond over music. He would love to dance but be the worst dancer ever. He would have been a huge comic nerd and would geek out with me over superheros. His favorite superhero would be Iron Man. I would go to his apartment every week, with some of my friends, and watch The Walking Dead (yet another thing we would geek out over). He would work at Office Depot in the printing center, part time. He would be in grad school while he was working. He would have dressed like a hipster, hung out at hipster coffee shops, and listened to hipster bands.

I'm sure there is more that I can think of, but that's all of the characteristics I can think of for now. It's weird to think of what life would have been like if my brother were still alive. I wonder if I would be the same person or totally different?

That's all for this week. Have a great weekend, & I'll talk to ya next post!

Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)

Out of My Mind Series - #1

Hey yall! I read a book for my LIB 301S class last week called "Out of My Mind" by Sharon Draper. The book is about a 10 year old named Melody who has cerebral palsy and has to be in a wheelchair and cannot talk. She has all of these thoughts in her mind that she cannot vocally express. She only has her communication board that she has to point at the words that have been given to her and hope that people know what she means, which is hard sometimes because the only fully functioning thing about her hands are her thumbs, so she has to use those to point to things.
This book and concept got me to thinking how lucky I am to be able to speak and type. The use of words are important. Unfortunately for Melody, she was super smart and had several great thoughts that nobody would be able to fully know. That's why I wanted to start a series called the "Out of My Mind Series" where I just say what's on my mind. I've learned from experience that holding things in without processing through it somehow and getting it off your mind is the worst. Then the thoughts get deeper and you start to lose your mind because you have no way of letting go. I encourage you all to find some way of getting "out of your mind" and releasing the inner thoughts you have. For me, it's easiest to type them all out. So here we go!

The first thing that has been a constant thought in my mind is: guys suck! Dealing with personal guy issues is the worst, but when it's happening to not only you but also two of your suitemates, it's a problem. You get this idea of a guy, who shows a lot of interest in you, then for no reason at all, cuts you off. It's like running a race and having to drop out 2 inches from the finish line. It sucks!!!! In my case, I was "the other girl." When I first heard this, it was from a good friend of mine who is best friends with the guy that I like. He told me that they had talked and he's liked me since last semester. Last semester?! Are you kidding me?! Why didn't you freaking do something about it last semester when you started to have feelings for me? But the killer part is that there was another girl in the picture that he had wanted to go after who, in my friend's words, was "out of his league." That should have been my first sign to abort mission and back out, but I thought that I was still in the running, so I continued to pursue whatever chance I had at this relationship thing. Things were going great! He was being intentional about hanging out. He wanted to sit by me at events with Cru. He started going to my church and wanted me to save him a seat. We would Facebook message and Snapchat each other all the time. I thought that was a sure sign. Then, I started getting impatient because he still hadn't said anything to me. So, I asked my friend if he would mind talking to him and seeing where we stood as far as if anything was going to happen. He finally had lunch with him, and reported back. The response was not what I was hoping for. Apparently, there was a new girl on his radar (different from the "out of his league" girl) & I was pushed so far out of his mind that he said he didn't like me anymore & only saw me as a friend. That hurt a ton! To make things worse though is what happened next. At Cru that same week, this guy has the nerve to message me again to ask me to save him a seat. At this point I couldn't say no there wasn't any room because when I finally got the message he was walking into the room & would have been able to see me. So I unwillingly saved him a seat beside me. At this point, I was trying not to show how hurt I was or that I even knew what had was said between him & my friend. After Cru, he walked with me (by ourselves) to go get food before everyone else went. We sat with one of my other friends, & he was still being super flirty with me. My girl brain did one of those things where I was hoping that my friend had lied to me about what was said & I had a little hope. Well, one of my suitemates/best friend saw that I was sitting with him & was talking to him & started giving me the stank eye from another table. I had told her what had happened & she was beyond ticked at this guy, who happens to be friends with all of us. After he left, I was talking with some of my friends who knew the situation & was really questioning things. The hurt was there & was coming on strong. Another friend was dealing with other boy issues & needed some fresh air to clear her head so I went with her. At that moment, I decided to message him & find out the truth for myself. I figured that if I got confirmation from him about things then I would be satisfied. I was wrong. The message I got back said that he was sorry if he came off as flirty, but he only saw me as a friend. My heart officially tore in 2 pieces & it took all of me to wait until I got back to my dorm to keep from crying my eyes out. It's been about a week & a half now & things haven't slacked up. Some days are easier than other, but every time I see him my chest gets tight & I feel as though I want to cry or scream or something to release the tension. He still talks to me like he did before. He still continues to go to my church. It's the hardest thing ever to see him everywhere & pretend as though things are okay when in reality it's the excact opposite. I know it sounds stupid to be caught up about a guy so much that I didn't even date, but it doesn't mean the pain hurts any less. I  have trust issues with guys anyway because of things in my past & this was just the icing on the cake. I know that there are still some good guys out there somewhere, but being 22 years old & still incredibly single makes me wonder if there is. Being so close to finally being in a relationship & then having that pulled out from under you is not a great feeling at all. I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but when I get time alone to myself even for a few minutes my mind begins to spiral back & think of the pain I'm feeling. I'm learning slowly to give my trust over to God & let him decide how I should deal with this, but my mind is doesn't fully know what that looks like. I would like to think that I have & then the memories come back & I'm back at square one with being stuck in my head & needing to write out how I'm feeling & what I'm thinking. That's the fun task. Yay being a girl!

That was enough overload for one post. I'm going to try to do a lot more like this. If you read up to this point, you're awesome! I hope you have a great week & I challenge you to do your own form of releasing your thoughts, whether that is in writing or making a video, I would love to see them! Send me a link. You could even do it privately for yourself, like a diary of some sort just for you to look back on & learn from it later. I'll talk to yall next post.

Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)

A Semester of Experiences

Hey y'all! I have been so freaking busy these past few weeks since school started back. I'm leading a Bible Study with Lindsey Carr (which is amazing!). I've been getting more into my major classes. I went through a moment of confusion about my major. I've been up to my neck in homework. I've had plans change at the last minute. I've dealt (& am still dealing) with a passive aggressive suitemate. I've dealt (& am again still dealing) with awesome suitemates. All around, it's been a semester full of new experiences so far. I'm  learning more about myself than I have any other semester. It's hard, but I know that God is working it all out for His plan. I complain a lot about how tough it is, even though I know that someone else is dealing with a much tougher situation than I am. I should feel privileged that I get to live the crazy awesome life that I live. I wouldn't trade it for anything! I wouldn't be anywhere though without God and the support of my family and friends alongside me. They keep me humbled and make me realize that it's stupid to grumble about the smallest things (just read the book of Numbers in the Bible). I have also learned so many things just by being a part of Cru and a member of Ashland. God has placed these two things in my life for a greater way that is going to better His kingdom. I've already seen the outcome of Him placing me as a Bible Study leader. Two of our Bible Study girls have given their lives to Christ! Praise God! It's a beautiful transformation to see lives changed like that. Now, I am about to head to my 3rd Fall Getaway with a group of my own Bible Study girls. My first time was my sophomore year with my Bible Study leaders, Sam and Sarah. Since then I have went as a new student, team leader, & now a Bible Study leader. This is where I met a lot of people I am now friends with and where I got closer to my Bible Study. I hope it's the same for everyone else who is going for the first time! Fall Getaway is such a vital experience in Cru, in my opinion, and it's where you really make connections. I almost didn't go my sophomore year when I transferred, but I am so glad that I did. I'm truly blessed to say that I get to share the same experiences with my best friend and roommate since my second semester of sophomore year, Felisha! We started this journey into Cru together and have experienced most of the same things together, just in different ways. I love being able to see how far we have come in the almost 3 years we've been here. Well I think I've babbled on long enough.

Here's a list of 10 songs I have been listening to recently (in no particular order):

1. "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainer
2. "Chandelier" by Sia
3. "Classic" by MKTO
4. "Uno Uno Seis" by Andy Mineo
5. "Tell Her You Love Her" by Echosmith
6. "Habits" by Tove Lo
7. "Amnesia" by 5 Seconds of Summer
8. "Terenife Sea" by Ed Sheeran
9. "Boom Clap" by Charlie XCX
10. "Dance With Me Tonight" by Olly Murs

Hope ya'll have a great week! I'll be back with another post sometime.

Live for God & Love for Music!

-Patience <3 =)

"Its a small world after all"

 The words that make up the title of this post are the words my really good friend from Summer Project, Evan, texted me after I had a really weird but pretty cool incident. I was watching a Youtube video that Joey Gatto posted the other day. The video was Joey interviewing a homeless man, who was obviously on some kind of drugs, in Union Square Park in New York. I commented on the video that the homeless man reminded me of a homeless guy we met in New York named Chilligan, who also just happened to be in Union Square Park when we met him. Another viewer replied to my comment that he actually knew Chilligan. Woah! How crazy is that?! I replied how crazy that was that he actually knew the very man that I just met in June while doing evangelism with some of my friends on project. The guy replied back that he has actually known Chilligan for about a year, & Chilligan's been helping him with a project he's doing about the homeless youth in NYC. Insane! I texted all of my friends that were with me when we had initially ran into Chilligan & his girlfriend, Maggie, back in June. Evan had just happened to text me after the second reply from the stranger & commented back, "Its a small world after all". My mind is blown! When I think of that phrase, I think back to the ride at Disney World & the song that went along with it that people usually get fed up with after a while. But on this day it made me realize that the world seems big to us, but to God it's small in comparison to Him & his majesty. I was also reminded of this today when I was walking around campus. EKU isn't the biggest campus, but I never would have expected that I would run into so many people that I have met since being here & someone who could potentially be a new friend. First, I was sitting at a table outside of where we eat at after lunch waiting on my friend Lindsey. All of a sudden I'm looking down at my phone & I hear this freshman girl walk up to the table I was sitting at & asked if she could sit down. I agreed & texted Lindsey where I was & that I was sitting with a girl when she got there. There had been a miscommunication in the meeting up, but that gave me the opportunity to talk to this girl. She told me she was a freshman & hadn't made very many friends. So, I asked if she was involved in anything outside of classes or if she went to church. She said she was part of NOVA (first generartion college students) & that she didn't have a religion. She had Christian friends & wanted to believe in Jesus, but the lack of physical proof was holding her back from believing. We discussed that you can't force someone to believe; they have to receive it on their own. She also mentioned that she hadn't really talked about religion since her freshman year of high school. At first, I thought she was gonna push me away once I started talking about God, but she was open to listen & even agreed to try to come to a Cru meeting. God really opened a door for opportunity! I wish I had been able to invite her to Bible Study & get her phone number, but she had to rush off to class before I got the chance. She did thank me for talking to her & said she hoped to see me again. I just pray that she genuinely meant what she said. So after that, I decided to chill in Starbucks until my class started. As soon as I walked in, there sat my friends, Ben & Kayla, & a guy who's in Ben's Bible Study. It was great to sit down for a bit & talk to Kayla, who I hadn't gotten to see in what seemed like forever, & catch up with how Ben's semester had been going so far since we hardly had time to just sit down & talk. While I was talking with them, my friend Lauren showed up for a bit & chatted about her day. After Kayla, Ben, Lauren, & the guy from Ben's Bible Study, Mac, left, I was about to leave when my friend Rachel popped in, & we also got to talk for a bit about how our summers were & how the semester was going so far for both of us. Lindsey also appeared while I was talking to Rachel, because she was meeting up with one of our Bible Study girls to talk more about Cru & Bible Study & other things to get to know her more. I finally left Starbucks around 3pm, after being there for about an hour. Once again, on my way to class, I ran into my friend (& Rachel's roommate), Natasha. We talked for a short bit about the class she got out of & the class I was going too (2 different classes). I walked to my class after that, & didn't run into anyone else...until I saw my friend Gina as I was leaving the bathroom after class. Thinking back to my sophomore year when I transferred to now, it's amazing to see how many connections I have made through God & Cru. I came in barely knowing anyone, & now I feel like I can't go anywhere without recognizing at least one person. I am truly blessed! It really is "a small world after all"!

Live for God & Love for Jesus!
-Patience <3 =)

When Life Gets Complicated

Hey y'all! I know I haven't posted in a few weeks, but I wanted to just write out some things I've been thinking about lately. I had so many ideas for posts, but when I went to go write them down later I always either forgot what I was going to say or just never had time to type up what I had previously been thinking about. Today, though, I have been thinking a lot about a situation that I wasn't orignally part of but life got complicated & I am now somehow part of the whole mess. It started when I met a really good friend of mine. Let's call him "Mason". Well I met "Mason" a few months ago & became really good friends with him. He is someone who I was instantly attracted to because he had most of the qualities I had always been looking for in a guy. He loves Jesus. He loves music. He's fun to be around. He knows how to make me laugh. I feel super comfortable just being able to talk to him for hours without feeling awkward. The only problem when we met was that he had a girlfriend. From what I had heard about his girlfriend she was really nice, pretty, & also a believer of God. A few weeks ago, "Mason" & his girlfriend broke up for reasons that seemed reasonable to anyone else, except for the fact that it happened out of the blue. According to "Mason", he is still really good friends with his ex-girlfriend & there is no bad blood between them. Then one day I was getting ready for work & received a friend request from his ex-girlfriend on Facebook. This raised a red flag because she knew me & him were close. I had tagged him in statuses as my "brother in Christ" & she knew he had stayed at my house for a night before he went to his friend's house the next day that was about an hour away from my house. When I brought it up to "Mason" he said that as far as he knew they were on good terms & she had no resentment towards me, but being a girl I know that if I were in her position I would be very jealous of another girl hanging out with a boy I was with for a while. I know there is nothing going on between us, but I still have feelings for "Mason" that I don't know if they are mutual, because I don't wanna ask him how he feels so recently after breaking up with her & I don't want her to find a reason to hate me. There is nothing going on between us. We are just two friends who met & became very close friends. I call or text him when I need to talk through things that I know no one else will understand, & he usually does the same thing. That is how we have always been.

So here is my question: What do y'all think I shoud do? Should I bring it up to the ex-girlfriend about there being nothing between me & "Mason"? Should I ask "Mason" what I am feeling? Am I overreacting? Should I just keep quiet? When life gets confusing the only thing you can do is pray to God for clarity & ask those close to you to support you through whatever decision you make.

Here's 10 songs that I think will describe how I'm feeling right now (& a few I'm really loving at the moment):

1. "Chandelier" by Sia
2. "Tell Her You Love Her" by Echosmith 
3. "Emergency" by Paramore
4. "Don't" by Ed Sheeran
5. "Amnesia" by 5SOS
6. "Maps" by Maroon 5
7. "Rude" by Magic!
8. "Happy Little Pill" by Troye Sivan
9. "Somebody to You" by The Vamps
10. "Boom Clap" by Charlie XCX

That's it for this post. Have a great day! I also hope y'all have a great weekend! If you have any advice for me or questions just leave a comment down below or tweet me @Paymitch on Twitter.

Live for God & Love for Music!

-Patience <3 =)

P.S. If there is anything you would like me to write about leave that in the comments too.

HE has a Plan

Hey y'all! Recently I have been noticed that God's plans are unexpected. I've seen friends who are perfect for each other finally start dating after flirting for a while. I've also seen 2 people who I thought were gonna be together forever break up one day out of the blue for I don't know what reason. I've seen several couples get married & engaged after either a long time or a short time. I've also seen hearts broken & dreams smashed. Someone may get the  job they've been wanting. Other times sometime may not get one job only to get another job. This is a concept that I'm dealing struggling to accept. The key to God's plan is to be patient. We can't choose our own destiny. It just never works out. Whether good or bad, God always has a plan for what He does. He uses every situation for His glory. Everything that happens is a way that will some day honor Him. We can't pick & choose which events we want to happen or when it will happen. That only lead to pain & hurt. The good thing is that God will let you in on His plan if you listen. He could send you too a foreign country. He could change your major your last semester of college. He could place someone in your life to change your life in a certain way. Honestly I'm glad that I am not in control of my life because I would mess up everything! Just as Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I can't do anything on my own. He leads me down the right path. He lead me to education. He lead me to Ashland. He lead me to EKU. He lead meto Cru. He lead me to New York. He even lead me to Kroger. I can't wait to see where He will lead me next!

Live for God &  Live for Music!
-Patience <3 =)

Back in the South

Hey yall! So as you can probably tell from the title I'm back from Summer Project & just got back to Kentucky last night. God truly blessed me with everything this past month. I gained new brothers & sisters in Christ & got to share my joy for the Lord with total strangers at colleges, parks, & even on the street. Here are the stats that were collected on our trip:

• 325 initiated conversations

• 216 spiritual conversations

• 131 gospel presentations

• 1 Spirit filled life presentation

• 1 trusted Christ

It was one of the greatest months of my life! God gave me a heart for New York & a bigger heart for ministry. So if you didn't know there were 16 students & about 18 staff on our trip from all over the United States in different Cru's. We became like family shortly after we met. It's crazy to think how God can connect people from different walks of life. We split up into 3 groups & went to different college campuses. My group (A Team) went to NYU, NYIT (a few times), FIT (once), & Brooklyn College (twice). Most of the time we went to NYU (or more of Washington Square Park) & talked to college students from all over the world & cultures. God does truly amazing things! We also partnered with another project there (that 2 of my friends from EKU were on) & helped out with the Summer in the City/Cru High School, where we helped with after school programs in the intercities of NY. That's where 2 of my friends on my project & 1 from the other project met a 9 year old boy named Kevin who was left home alone. They talked to him a bit & found out that his parents left him at home while they went to his sister's graduation because he didn't want to go. They talked to him a bit & gave him a prayer bracelet & then asked if he wanted to accept Jesus into his life (to which he nodded yes). So cool right?! There were many stories that I could tell but I will let you message me for those. God has definitely worked in our lives & the lives of the people in the city. There is still a ton of work to be done but every step is a step closer to more lives being won for Christ. If you have a heart for missions or a heart for helping others then I really encourage going to New York to share the Gospel. 

Lastly, I'm not gonna lie but leaving New York was one of the hardest things I have done! This summer was very challenging but humbling all at the same time. I met some of my best friends & created tons of great relationships through this project. I raised suppport (which I still owe about $400 by July 10th). I initiated conversations with strangers. I lead a prayer meeting in front of a huge group. I lived in a hotel room with 3 other amazing women of God. I shared my testimony with others. All of these experiences would not have been possible without God, the staff, the other students, & everyone who has supported & prayed for me. Thank you so much for everything! God isn't done with me yet but this is just the first stop on a long adventure into the mission field. I didn't know how much I could change in one month. It's going to take a while to adjust to not seeing the same friends every day but I know I can count on the community of others to get me through even my toughest days. So that is all for now, but I really just wanted to say thank you all once again for your thoughts & prayers. It means so much!

Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)

NYC Summer Project 2014

Hey yall! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but I've been in NYC since May 30th & am here until June 30th with Cru. I can now honestly say this has been the best & most challenging experience I have ever experienced, but I wouldn't change it for the world! If you don't know what a summer project is, it is a mission trip that Cru does & different people sign up to go to different places all over the world for anywhere from 2-10 weeks in the summer depending on the specific project. NYC specifically is 1 month & we work on various college campuses in New York to talk to people & see what the spiritual atmosphere is on that campus while also sharing the Gospel & evangelizing with those that we come in contact with. No one, that I know of, has come to Christ yet but with a city of only 2% Christian we have met tons of other believers in the city. I am truly blessed to be able to do life with 15 other students & 18 staff that are on this project. We have quickly become a family! It's so amazing to see what God can do in just the 3 & a half weeks that we have been here already! Also, I have been fortunate enough to serve on music team for a week then get switched to prayer team. God has challenged me to step out of my bubble & try new things that I would otherwise not be able to do if it were not for going on summer project. I have fallen in love with NY & am really sad to be leaving this place & the people that I have met. I will be able to see most of them at Encounter, but some I will not see until project reunion.

I have several stories, but the one that I want to share is about a guy that my friend, Matt, & I talked to. This guy's name was Sebastian & he was a geology major at Brooklyn College who believed in The Big Bang Theory & fought everything we tried to tell him about God. He grew up going to Catholic school until 8th grade but refused to believe in what the Bible says & the stories in it even exist. It was like pulling teeth with this kid! After talking to him for about an hour, with his view not changing, we were finally able to end the conversation with him. Looking back I could have said more but I know he wouldn't have listened. God placed me & Matt in that situation for a reason, & if anything we can say that Sebastian has heard the Gospel. He wasn't rejecting us, he was rejecting God. It was SO frustrating! But I know that we did all that we could. That's the cool thing about God, a month ago I would have given up & fallen to pieces over one conversation I had with this guy that went south, & now here I am standing back & seeing all the doors that are now open for God to get into his life & tear him down to the point that he could come crawling to God for repentance & asking to give his life to Christ. There are tons more stories I could share but each one of them points back to the awesome truth that GOD IS GOOD! No matter what I do I know that I am a daughter of the living God & there is nothing that can change that! How cool is that concept?! I know that if I had came last year my life would be totally different than it is now, but I know that this is God's will for me. He placed me here at this moment to write this post for a certain reason that will be used to further his kingdom. Hallelujah! Praise God! I am so humbled by all that He has done & hopefully I will be able to take what I have learned back to Harrodsburg & Richmond & share it with everyone around me.


This week I want to leave yall with a playlist of my favorite songs that are great for just praising God in His greatness:

1. Oceans (by Hillsong United)
2. In  Christ Alone
3. How Deep the Father's Love
4. Revelation Song
5. Never Gone
6. Come Thou Fount
7. Mighty to Save
8. Free to Be Me
9. How Great is Our God
10. Warrior (by Sojourn)

That is it for this week guys! Hope yall have a great rest of the week & I will post when I can. Love yall!

Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)

Living La Vida Single

Hey y'all! So this week has been a slap in the face of how much I have actually been pushing down my feelings about how I am not that okay with being single. Living in a community of people who are either getting into relationships or are getting married or having kids is a hard thing to think about when I'm 21 & haven't dated since 10th grade (which only lasted for 3 days). I know that God has a plan for my life & will bring a guy into my life when it is His time & not mine. The worldly side of me is very impatient though (despite my name). I look at couples & I either: 1) think they're really cute, or 2) what to puke rainbows & are jealous because I want a relationship like that. Maybe that is why God has not placed someone in my life because I have not learned to be content with how my life is now. But the good news is that I know that God does have a plan & that if He wants it to happen then it will happen & all I have to do is follow Him. My future is set no matter how much I want to be in a relationship with a guy who is passionate about the Lord & meets all of my other qualities. I'm also extremely picky about what I look for in someone (as I have mentioned in other posts) & that also hinders my chance of finding someone, because no one is gonna be perfect. Shoot! Even the guy I like now doesn't have everything I am looking for but he is close enough. God is softening my heart day by day & preparing my heart for the one day when I will find that guy who is just what HE wants for me & not what I want for my self. So for now I am "living la vida single" & I have to learn to be okay with it.

This week's song list is one for all of single ladies/gentlemen! Here it is:

1. "Single Ladies" by Beyonce
2. "Want U Back" by Cher Lloyd
3. "Falling for You" by Colbie Callet
4. "Me & My Broken Heart" by Rixton
5. "Single" by Natasha Bendingfield
6. "I Don't Wanna Be in Love" by Good Charlotte
7. "Stronger" by Britney Spears
8. "Ridin' Solo" by Jason Derulo
9. "I Don't Need a Man" by The Pussycat Dolls
10. "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)" by Kelly Clarkson

So there you have it folks! So the main point is that even if you are single & are feeling like you're gonna be single forever, don't worry because God has a plan for you & it will happen if He wills it to. For now just relax & don't stress about the worries of being in a relationship. I hope y'all have a very happy Easter & spend this weekend remembering that God died on the cross for your sins & rose 3 days later. Isn't that amazing?! That is why we are allowed to sit here & worry  about our lives & don't have to worry about God condemning us for complaining about His plan. We are saved & all we have to do is talk to God & ask for repentance of our sins! This weekend is really important to me & is one of the main reasons I am here today typing this post! That is all for now & will stop babbling. Have a great week & I will see/type to you on the next post!

Live for God & Love for Music!

-Patience <3 =)

Don't Waste Your Life Away

Hey yall! So this week I really wanna talk about something serious. Recently, a guy I was in LEAD with at MSU passed away in a car wreck & it really made me think about how precious and unexpected life really is. He was only 23 and was one of the most kind, caring, and funny people I have ever known. There wasn't anything physically wrong with him. He was a young, healthy guy who enjoyed life. Then the next day he was gone. It's so strange to think that we could just die at any moment, whenever God decides it's time for us to leave this Earth. So it's important not to waste the time we have on this Earth. If you don't already have a relationship with God, then I strongly recommend doing that NOW cuz you never know what will happen. Luckily, Joey knew the Lord and was saved. I feel that is the most important decision you will ever make in your life! Hell is a terrifying place and the only way to save yourself is to follow God and have a relationship with him. Since Joey died, I realized how many young people that I knew have passed away just since I graduated high school, and it scares me to think that they were just like me, living a life with family and friends who loved them. They had a future ahead of them. Most of them didn't ask to die, and the ones that did felt as if they had no way out cuz no one cared to show them that even if they felt as if no one loved them that God was/is ALWAYS there for them. It breaks my heart to see people who think they are gonna live for a long time and don't have to make a decision about their destiny, but the truth is that they could die at any second. Morbid, I know! I truly believe that we should all take something away from this: 1. don't waste your life and live it to the fullest, and 2. make sure you have a relationship with God before it's too late. I had to get that off my chest. Sorry for being so morbid! I promise next week will be much happier. Hope yall have a great week!

Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)

The Kindness of a Stranger

Hey yall! I have begun to see that people aren't as mean as I thought. With the cold weather my car has been acting up, and when your car gets stuck in the snow, people are a lot more willing to help out cuz they understand your pain. Like after the first time we had a huge storm my car battery was messing up and I had to get people to jump it, but then my car got stuck in a parking spot. Some random guy ran up to my car, that he just happened to be passing by at the time, and tried to push the car. Even though he couldn't get it to move he tried so hard and even tried to use an ice scraper to get ice from under my tires. My friends later pushed the car out later, but it was so sweet that he didn't know me and was willing to help no questions asked. Another example was today my car got stuck in snow, AGAIN, when I was trying to put a poster in my friend Lauren's truck cuz she has a broken foot and can't really get her knee scooter through the snow. This random, and attractive, guy just happened to be jogging by and ran to my car and told me to drive forward while he pushed. Just like last time this guy had no idea who I was and was still willing to help me out. God definitely had a hand in those situations and placed someone there at just the right time. So grateful! It seems that people that we don't know are the ones that are more willing to help out a lot of time. It's the kindness of a stranger.
But I also had some amazingly nice things come from people I know too. I'm going to New York this summer for summer project, and my grandma is totally against me going. So I called her up the day before her birthday just to chat and she says that she got my support letter and sent me $50 of the $3,250 that I need. So awesome! Then she proceeded to say that my dad was sending me money too and was asking people for addresses so I could send out more letters to people to raise the money. Woah! Such a God thing! My dad even gave me a check from the woman that does his taxes and she just gave him a $50 check to give to me towards NYC. Another act of kindness from a stranger! I don't deserve any of this, and I that it's God who is providing all of this. I will forever be amazed at how amazing the people in my life are!

The songs this week are just random songs that have been stuck in my head. So here they are:

1. "Mug Shot" by Max Schneider
2. "Dark Horse" by Katy Perry
3. "Burn" by Ellie Goulding
4. "Hollywood Ending" by Hollywood Ending
5. "Adorable" by Artist Vs Poet
6. "Ain't It Fun" by Paramore
7. "Counting Stars" by One Republic
8. "Demons" by Imagine Dragons
9. "Just the Girl" by The Click Five
10. "On the Way Down" by Ryan Cabrera

That's about it for this week yall! I'll see ya next post! Have a great day & week! 

God Bless!

-Patience <3 =)

Working the Night Shift

Hey yall! I may have mentioned this in an earlier post, but I have a new job as a desk worker on campus. I work the late shift (either 1-5 am or 5-9 am usually). I am surprisingly not as tired as I thought I would be & I am actually getting by well with little sleep. Tonight I am working 1-5 for the first time and it's going well so far. Some of the perks about my shift are that I get to go to different buildings that I would never go to if I didn't have this job, and I get to do some studying, homework, and sometimes catch up on shows. One time I watched 3 episodes of Teen Wolf in the time span of my shift. I also get to work when hardly anyone is walking through, so I get to pretty much get paid for doing almost nothing. It's pretty great! I don't like getting up early or staying up extra late, but it's a paycheck so I can't really complain. There's no one to bother you. You hardly see anybody, unless it's Thursday and they're coming back from partying all night. So far I haven't experienced that, but I've heard the horror stories. Unfortunately, I don't get to have my laptop so I'm forced to use the computer that is used for swiping people in. That means when people come in or have to check out I have to switch screens fast. For the most part I can't really complain about my job!

This week I am just going to have a random list of songs that I usually listen to when I'm just chilling out and not doing much.

1. "Dirty Little Secrets" by The All-American Rejects
2. "Somewhere in Neverland" by All Time Low
3. "Chocolate" by The 1975
4. "Three Cheers for Five Years" by Mayday Parade
5. "Lightning in a Bottle" by The Summer Set
6. "Adorable" by Artist Vs Poet
7. "Counting Stars" by One Republic
8. "Demons" by Imagine Dragons
9. "Ain't It Fun" by Paramore
10. "Jasey Rae" by All Time Low

There you have it folks! I hope yall have a great day! What are some songs you like to listen to chill out and relax?

Live for God & Love for Music!

-Patience <3 =)

Expectations

Hey yall! Have you ever had one of those weeks where you feel like everyone is just expecting too much from you? You have to dress a certain way, act a certain way, have certain opinions, and talk a certain way. If you have an off day or if you do just one little thing that is different, it's like you having to be sick or something. & it's not just from classes, it's from work, family, friends, peers, people walking down the street, & just everyone in society. The only person, at this point, that I really care about what they think of me is God, & I know that He loves me no matter what. I just get fed up with having to put on a front like I'm in the wrong if I forget about one little thing or just do something that's out of character for me. It's like I can't have a bad day or a bad day without making someone mad cuz they expected something from me that I didn't provide. The worst part is that I feel if I say anything then I'm a jerk for telling someone what I think. Even if it's someone I'm close to, I feel like I can't say anything without getting accused of acting really strange. Sometimes I just forget to do things cuz of the hundred thousand other things I have on my plate to worry about that desire my attention. I don't mean to forget things, it just happens & in the moment I can't do anything except say "sorry" & try to move on from the situation. Or there's those situations when I don't wanna hear someone complain about how sucky their day has been, but I don't feel like I can tell them that I don't wanna hear about it cuz, once again, I come out looking like the jerk & like I don't care about them. I do care, but in that moment I just don't wanna hear about something negative. Society expects too much out of us & the only way to deal with it most of the time is too sit back & listen & not say a word. It's the only way that you will for sure not look like the bad person in the situation. So, I have this blog to write all my feelings out & if you've made it to this point then sweet! but I understand if people don't wanna finish it cuz let's face it, I don't have expectations of anyone reading my blog. I'm glad I have a place to go to get out all of my feelings in a healthy way & if people read it then that's cool, but I don't write these in hopes that someone will read it. It's a way of getting things off my chest before I explode.

So now that that's over, here's the part you were probably actually waiting for.....MUSIC RECOMMENDATION TIME!!!!! This week are 10 songs that will probably help you let go of all your pent up emotions & rock out.

1. "Welcome to My Life" by Simple Plan
2. "All the Small Things" by Blink-182
3. "In Too Deep" by Sum 41
4. "American Idiot" by Green Day
5. "Honesty" by Cartel
6. "Ocean Avenue" by Yellowcard
7. "Lost in Stereo" by All Time Low
8. "Chin Up Kid" by Forever the Sickest Kids
9. "Oh Well, Oh Well" by Mayday Parade
10. "The Best Thing (That Never Happened)" by We Are The In Crowd

That's my list! Do you have anymore to add to the list? Hope yall have a great week & don't let the expectations of the world get you down. 

God Bless!

-Patience <3 =)

Brr! It's Cold Out Here!

Hey yall! I don't know about where you're from, but here in Kentucky it's been like a constant freezer for the past few weeks and it won't defrost! It's so cold! For some of you, you may think that 2 inches of snow and -9 degrees weather is nothing. Here in Kentucky we're not used to living in an ice cold tundra. We've had class everyday except for we had one 2 hour delay and we had one day where classes were canceled after 4 pm (which only affected one of my classes). Last night I was walking from my car to my dorm, and I thought my nose was going to fall off or something. Not cool! I'm just sick of having to bundle up like an Eskimo everyday. A few days my fingers had that stinging, burning numbness and I thought for sure hypothermia was setting in. I like to live by the rule of if the temperature is less than my age then I don't wanna go outside. The president of our college sent out an email and pretty much said our education was too important to cancel classes and that the salt they were putting down wasn't melting the ice. What the heck?! I would rather cancel classes than become frost bitten cuz of the weather! Sadly, I went to all my classes though and toughed the snow and ice. I guess the only good thing about this weather is that I have an excuse to wear scarves and hats and sweaters. There's my bit of positivity and the end of my rant.

This week my list will consist of songs that remind me of winter:

1. "Sweater Weather" by The Neighborhood
2. "Sweater Song" by Hedley
3. "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?" from Frozen
4. "Baby It's Cold Outside" by Kurt and Blaine from Glee (my favorite version)
5. "Let It Go" by Demi Lovato
6. "Let It Go" by Idina Menzel from Frozen
7. "Winter Wonderland" by Bing Crosby
8. "Wake Me Up" by Avicii (just cuz I love this song)
9. "Banana Pancakes" by Jack Johnson (makes me feel like staying inside)
10. "Counting Stars" by One Republic (not winter or coldness but a great song still)

That's it for this blog! Hop yall have a great week and I'll talk to you the next time I remember to do one of these things.

Live for God & Love for Music!

-Patience <3 =)

Happy 2014!!!!! (Plus Update)

Hey yall! Sorry I haven't been on here in what seems like forever! I have been super busy with everything. Christmas and New Year were great. Encounter was AMAZING! I'm back at school after working all break. I cut and died my hair back to brown (goodbye ginger!). Oh! I also found out yesterday I passed my Praxis I exam to get into the education program! Yeah that's pretty much where I have been. I hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year! I can't believe it's already 2014! Things have been so chaotic and tiring that I have barely had time to do anything about it. Hopefully things will calm down for the most part this semester before I head to New York for a month this summer for summer project (did I fail to mention that earlier?). God has revealed things in my life and have showed me who and what I need in my life in order to keep my eyes focused on Him, and it has made me feel SO much better! This year is gonna be a new start. This is a new me and I couldn't be any more excited to see what God has in store for me! So that is where I'm at this point in my life: I'm just following God and living life the best I can, which means getting rid of the negative and focusing on bettering myself.

This week I don't have a playlist, but I have a artist recommendation. At Encounter there was a guy named Matt Papa who lead our praise and worship every morning, and he really inspired me both musically and spiritually. I encourage you to look him up on YouTube and watch his videos. My favorites are "The Story of God" (which is where he does basically spoken word and tells the story of God summed up in  10 minutes) and "The Ocean" (which is a beautiful song!). Go check him out at www.youtube.com/MattPapaTV. I promise you won't regret it.

I hope yall have a fantastic week, and I'll try to post more.

Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)