Hey y'all! Recently I have been thinking about the difference between "loving" someone vs. "being in love with" someone. This is a topic that I think is a hot topic in our culture. Nowadays, people (mostly young people) say the words "I love you" like it's just part of their everyday vocabulary, but it's a much bigger deal to say that L word than some may think. According to Webster's Dictionary, the definition of love is: "a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person; attraction that includes sexual desire; the strong affection felt by people who have a romantic relationship; a person you love in a romantic way." The biblical definition of love, in comparison, comes from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV): "4 Love is patient, love is kind, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away." I think from both of these definitions that love isn't just one simple thing. I also think that there is a difference between "to love" & "to be in love". We say we "love" random things or people: pizza, coffee, someone's hair or outfit, a movie, a song, a hobby, etc. If we are going by these definitions, it doesn't fit either one. That is in the category of "to love". "To love" means that you have strong feelings for something, but there isn't any action behind those feelings. We say it, but we don't do anything about it. The other side of this is "to be in love with". This is what both definitions are talking about. You are "in love with" someone & would do whatever you could for that person. You want what is best for them & care for them as yourself. You don't expect anything from that person except the love that you have for them. I think that you truly know that you love someone when you actually get to fully know them inside & out. It's also not a chore or a demand that you love this person, but you love them because you want to. I see this frequently in marriages at my church. These couples have known each other for years & know their spouse from every aspect of them, from the inside out. They sacrifice for each other & do things for the other because they genuinely want to. They set examples of what true love is for their children & for everyone who comes in contact with them. I'm not saying that you have to be married to be "in love" with someone, but I do think that you have to think about whether you could see yourself married to them for the rest of your life. You don't just want to be with them for the physical stuff, but you are also emotionally & spiritually connected to them. If you're a Christian, you love God more than them, but they are the 2nd in line. This should also be mutual. In a Christian relationship you should both seek to please God above anything else with your relationship. They should not only be your other half, but they should also be your best friend. Like the verses say, you should be able to trust each other & be patient with each other & whatever else comes along with it. Even if you are not a Christian, you should want to be with that person through the good times & the hard times. It shouldn't just be a part-time thing. You shouldn't just brush it off. You should strive everyday to strengthen your relationship. So, in summary, the difference in "to love" vs. "in love" is the feeling behind what how you feel & how much you are willing to endure for the other person. Love should not be a word that you throw around. It should mean something to you. It should not be taken lightly. I know that I have never experienced true love with anyone but God, but from what I have observed from others & have been taught through wise people that I look up to, I think that if I am ever in a serious relationship that I would take all of this in common before I tell him that I love him. These are just my thoughts, but I would encourage you to think it over & tell me your opinion on the topic.
To go along with this post, I decided that I should add a top 10 songs list. I haven't done one of these in a while, so here is my list:
- "Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop" by Landon Pigg
- "You and Me" by Lifehouse
- "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis
- "I Like You" by Ben Rector
- "Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran
- "Bright" by Echosmith
- "Still Into You" by Paramore
- "God Gave Me You" by Blake Shelton (not a country fan but I love this version of the song)
- "Mirrors" by Justin Timberlake
- "You Found Me" by The Fray
Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)