Out of My Mind Series - #1

Hey yall! I read a book for my LIB 301S class last week called "Out of My Mind" by Sharon Draper. The book is about a 10 year old named Melody who has cerebral palsy and has to be in a wheelchair and cannot talk. She has all of these thoughts in her mind that she cannot vocally express. She only has her communication board that she has to point at the words that have been given to her and hope that people know what she means, which is hard sometimes because the only fully functioning thing about her hands are her thumbs, so she has to use those to point to things.
This book and concept got me to thinking how lucky I am to be able to speak and type. The use of words are important. Unfortunately for Melody, she was super smart and had several great thoughts that nobody would be able to fully know. That's why I wanted to start a series called the "Out of My Mind Series" where I just say what's on my mind. I've learned from experience that holding things in without processing through it somehow and getting it off your mind is the worst. Then the thoughts get deeper and you start to lose your mind because you have no way of letting go. I encourage you all to find some way of getting "out of your mind" and releasing the inner thoughts you have. For me, it's easiest to type them all out. So here we go!

The first thing that has been a constant thought in my mind is: guys suck! Dealing with personal guy issues is the worst, but when it's happening to not only you but also two of your suitemates, it's a problem. You get this idea of a guy, who shows a lot of interest in you, then for no reason at all, cuts you off. It's like running a race and having to drop out 2 inches from the finish line. It sucks!!!! In my case, I was "the other girl." When I first heard this, it was from a good friend of mine who is best friends with the guy that I like. He told me that they had talked and he's liked me since last semester. Last semester?! Are you kidding me?! Why didn't you freaking do something about it last semester when you started to have feelings for me? But the killer part is that there was another girl in the picture that he had wanted to go after who, in my friend's words, was "out of his league." That should have been my first sign to abort mission and back out, but I thought that I was still in the running, so I continued to pursue whatever chance I had at this relationship thing. Things were going great! He was being intentional about hanging out. He wanted to sit by me at events with Cru. He started going to my church and wanted me to save him a seat. We would Facebook message and Snapchat each other all the time. I thought that was a sure sign. Then, I started getting impatient because he still hadn't said anything to me. So, I asked my friend if he would mind talking to him and seeing where we stood as far as if anything was going to happen. He finally had lunch with him, and reported back. The response was not what I was hoping for. Apparently, there was a new girl on his radar (different from the "out of his league" girl) & I was pushed so far out of his mind that he said he didn't like me anymore & only saw me as a friend. That hurt a ton! To make things worse though is what happened next. At Cru that same week, this guy has the nerve to message me again to ask me to save him a seat. At this point I couldn't say no there wasn't any room because when I finally got the message he was walking into the room & would have been able to see me. So I unwillingly saved him a seat beside me. At this point, I was trying not to show how hurt I was or that I even knew what had was said between him & my friend. After Cru, he walked with me (by ourselves) to go get food before everyone else went. We sat with one of my other friends, & he was still being super flirty with me. My girl brain did one of those things where I was hoping that my friend had lied to me about what was said & I had a little hope. Well, one of my suitemates/best friend saw that I was sitting with him & was talking to him & started giving me the stank eye from another table. I had told her what had happened & she was beyond ticked at this guy, who happens to be friends with all of us. After he left, I was talking with some of my friends who knew the situation & was really questioning things. The hurt was there & was coming on strong. Another friend was dealing with other boy issues & needed some fresh air to clear her head so I went with her. At that moment, I decided to message him & find out the truth for myself. I figured that if I got confirmation from him about things then I would be satisfied. I was wrong. The message I got back said that he was sorry if he came off as flirty, but he only saw me as a friend. My heart officially tore in 2 pieces & it took all of me to wait until I got back to my dorm to keep from crying my eyes out. It's been about a week & a half now & things haven't slacked up. Some days are easier than other, but every time I see him my chest gets tight & I feel as though I want to cry or scream or something to release the tension. He still talks to me like he did before. He still continues to go to my church. It's the hardest thing ever to see him everywhere & pretend as though things are okay when in reality it's the excact opposite. I know it sounds stupid to be caught up about a guy so much that I didn't even date, but it doesn't mean the pain hurts any less. I  have trust issues with guys anyway because of things in my past & this was just the icing on the cake. I know that there are still some good guys out there somewhere, but being 22 years old & still incredibly single makes me wonder if there is. Being so close to finally being in a relationship & then having that pulled out from under you is not a great feeling at all. I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but when I get time alone to myself even for a few minutes my mind begins to spiral back & think of the pain I'm feeling. I'm learning slowly to give my trust over to God & let him decide how I should deal with this, but my mind is doesn't fully know what that looks like. I would like to think that I have & then the memories come back & I'm back at square one with being stuck in my head & needing to write out how I'm feeling & what I'm thinking. That's the fun task. Yay being a girl!

That was enough overload for one post. I'm going to try to do a lot more like this. If you read up to this point, you're awesome! I hope you have a great week & I challenge you to do your own form of releasing your thoughts, whether that is in writing or making a video, I would love to see them! Send me a link. You could even do it privately for yourself, like a diary of some sort just for you to look back on & learn from it later. I'll talk to yall next post.

Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)

A Semester of Experiences

Hey y'all! I have been so freaking busy these past few weeks since school started back. I'm leading a Bible Study with Lindsey Carr (which is amazing!). I've been getting more into my major classes. I went through a moment of confusion about my major. I've been up to my neck in homework. I've had plans change at the last minute. I've dealt (& am still dealing) with a passive aggressive suitemate. I've dealt (& am again still dealing) with awesome suitemates. All around, it's been a semester full of new experiences so far. I'm  learning more about myself than I have any other semester. It's hard, but I know that God is working it all out for His plan. I complain a lot about how tough it is, even though I know that someone else is dealing with a much tougher situation than I am. I should feel privileged that I get to live the crazy awesome life that I live. I wouldn't trade it for anything! I wouldn't be anywhere though without God and the support of my family and friends alongside me. They keep me humbled and make me realize that it's stupid to grumble about the smallest things (just read the book of Numbers in the Bible). I have also learned so many things just by being a part of Cru and a member of Ashland. God has placed these two things in my life for a greater way that is going to better His kingdom. I've already seen the outcome of Him placing me as a Bible Study leader. Two of our Bible Study girls have given their lives to Christ! Praise God! It's a beautiful transformation to see lives changed like that. Now, I am about to head to my 3rd Fall Getaway with a group of my own Bible Study girls. My first time was my sophomore year with my Bible Study leaders, Sam and Sarah. Since then I have went as a new student, team leader, & now a Bible Study leader. This is where I met a lot of people I am now friends with and where I got closer to my Bible Study. I hope it's the same for everyone else who is going for the first time! Fall Getaway is such a vital experience in Cru, in my opinion, and it's where you really make connections. I almost didn't go my sophomore year when I transferred, but I am so glad that I did. I'm truly blessed to say that I get to share the same experiences with my best friend and roommate since my second semester of sophomore year, Felisha! We started this journey into Cru together and have experienced most of the same things together, just in different ways. I love being able to see how far we have come in the almost 3 years we've been here. Well I think I've babbled on long enough.

Here's a list of 10 songs I have been listening to recently (in no particular order):

1. "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainer
2. "Chandelier" by Sia
3. "Classic" by MKTO
4. "Uno Uno Seis" by Andy Mineo
5. "Tell Her You Love Her" by Echosmith
6. "Habits" by Tove Lo
7. "Amnesia" by 5 Seconds of Summer
8. "Terenife Sea" by Ed Sheeran
9. "Boom Clap" by Charlie XCX
10. "Dance With Me Tonight" by Olly Murs

Hope ya'll have a great week! I'll be back with another post sometime.

Live for God & Love for Music!

-Patience <3 =)

"Its a small world after all"

 The words that make up the title of this post are the words my really good friend from Summer Project, Evan, texted me after I had a really weird but pretty cool incident. I was watching a Youtube video that Joey Gatto posted the other day. The video was Joey interviewing a homeless man, who was obviously on some kind of drugs, in Union Square Park in New York. I commented on the video that the homeless man reminded me of a homeless guy we met in New York named Chilligan, who also just happened to be in Union Square Park when we met him. Another viewer replied to my comment that he actually knew Chilligan. Woah! How crazy is that?! I replied how crazy that was that he actually knew the very man that I just met in June while doing evangelism with some of my friends on project. The guy replied back that he has actually known Chilligan for about a year, & Chilligan's been helping him with a project he's doing about the homeless youth in NYC. Insane! I texted all of my friends that were with me when we had initially ran into Chilligan & his girlfriend, Maggie, back in June. Evan had just happened to text me after the second reply from the stranger & commented back, "Its a small world after all". My mind is blown! When I think of that phrase, I think back to the ride at Disney World & the song that went along with it that people usually get fed up with after a while. But on this day it made me realize that the world seems big to us, but to God it's small in comparison to Him & his majesty. I was also reminded of this today when I was walking around campus. EKU isn't the biggest campus, but I never would have expected that I would run into so many people that I have met since being here & someone who could potentially be a new friend. First, I was sitting at a table outside of where we eat at after lunch waiting on my friend Lindsey. All of a sudden I'm looking down at my phone & I hear this freshman girl walk up to the table I was sitting at & asked if she could sit down. I agreed & texted Lindsey where I was & that I was sitting with a girl when she got there. There had been a miscommunication in the meeting up, but that gave me the opportunity to talk to this girl. She told me she was a freshman & hadn't made very many friends. So, I asked if she was involved in anything outside of classes or if she went to church. She said she was part of NOVA (first generartion college students) & that she didn't have a religion. She had Christian friends & wanted to believe in Jesus, but the lack of physical proof was holding her back from believing. We discussed that you can't force someone to believe; they have to receive it on their own. She also mentioned that she hadn't really talked about religion since her freshman year of high school. At first, I thought she was gonna push me away once I started talking about God, but she was open to listen & even agreed to try to come to a Cru meeting. God really opened a door for opportunity! I wish I had been able to invite her to Bible Study & get her phone number, but she had to rush off to class before I got the chance. She did thank me for talking to her & said she hoped to see me again. I just pray that she genuinely meant what she said. So after that, I decided to chill in Starbucks until my class started. As soon as I walked in, there sat my friends, Ben & Kayla, & a guy who's in Ben's Bible Study. It was great to sit down for a bit & talk to Kayla, who I hadn't gotten to see in what seemed like forever, & catch up with how Ben's semester had been going so far since we hardly had time to just sit down & talk. While I was talking with them, my friend Lauren showed up for a bit & chatted about her day. After Kayla, Ben, Lauren, & the guy from Ben's Bible Study, Mac, left, I was about to leave when my friend Rachel popped in, & we also got to talk for a bit about how our summers were & how the semester was going so far for both of us. Lindsey also appeared while I was talking to Rachel, because she was meeting up with one of our Bible Study girls to talk more about Cru & Bible Study & other things to get to know her more. I finally left Starbucks around 3pm, after being there for about an hour. Once again, on my way to class, I ran into my friend (& Rachel's roommate), Natasha. We talked for a short bit about the class she got out of & the class I was going too (2 different classes). I walked to my class after that, & didn't run into anyone else...until I saw my friend Gina as I was leaving the bathroom after class. Thinking back to my sophomore year when I transferred to now, it's amazing to see how many connections I have made through God & Cru. I came in barely knowing anyone, & now I feel like I can't go anywhere without recognizing at least one person. I am truly blessed! It really is "a small world after all"!

Live for God & Love for Jesus!
-Patience <3 =)

When Life Gets Complicated

Hey y'all! I know I haven't posted in a few weeks, but I wanted to just write out some things I've been thinking about lately. I had so many ideas for posts, but when I went to go write them down later I always either forgot what I was going to say or just never had time to type up what I had previously been thinking about. Today, though, I have been thinking a lot about a situation that I wasn't orignally part of but life got complicated & I am now somehow part of the whole mess. It started when I met a really good friend of mine. Let's call him "Mason". Well I met "Mason" a few months ago & became really good friends with him. He is someone who I was instantly attracted to because he had most of the qualities I had always been looking for in a guy. He loves Jesus. He loves music. He's fun to be around. He knows how to make me laugh. I feel super comfortable just being able to talk to him for hours without feeling awkward. The only problem when we met was that he had a girlfriend. From what I had heard about his girlfriend she was really nice, pretty, & also a believer of God. A few weeks ago, "Mason" & his girlfriend broke up for reasons that seemed reasonable to anyone else, except for the fact that it happened out of the blue. According to "Mason", he is still really good friends with his ex-girlfriend & there is no bad blood between them. Then one day I was getting ready for work & received a friend request from his ex-girlfriend on Facebook. This raised a red flag because she knew me & him were close. I had tagged him in statuses as my "brother in Christ" & she knew he had stayed at my house for a night before he went to his friend's house the next day that was about an hour away from my house. When I brought it up to "Mason" he said that as far as he knew they were on good terms & she had no resentment towards me, but being a girl I know that if I were in her position I would be very jealous of another girl hanging out with a boy I was with for a while. I know there is nothing going on between us, but I still have feelings for "Mason" that I don't know if they are mutual, because I don't wanna ask him how he feels so recently after breaking up with her & I don't want her to find a reason to hate me. There is nothing going on between us. We are just two friends who met & became very close friends. I call or text him when I need to talk through things that I know no one else will understand, & he usually does the same thing. That is how we have always been.

So here is my question: What do y'all think I shoud do? Should I bring it up to the ex-girlfriend about there being nothing between me & "Mason"? Should I ask "Mason" what I am feeling? Am I overreacting? Should I just keep quiet? When life gets confusing the only thing you can do is pray to God for clarity & ask those close to you to support you through whatever decision you make.

Here's 10 songs that I think will describe how I'm feeling right now (& a few I'm really loving at the moment):

1. "Chandelier" by Sia
2. "Tell Her You Love Her" by Echosmith 
3. "Emergency" by Paramore
4. "Don't" by Ed Sheeran
5. "Amnesia" by 5SOS
6. "Maps" by Maroon 5
7. "Rude" by Magic!
8. "Happy Little Pill" by Troye Sivan
9. "Somebody to You" by The Vamps
10. "Boom Clap" by Charlie XCX

That's it for this post. Have a great day! I also hope y'all have a great weekend! If you have any advice for me or questions just leave a comment down below or tweet me @Paymitch on Twitter.

Live for God & Love for Music!

-Patience <3 =)

P.S. If there is anything you would like me to write about leave that in the comments too.

HE has a Plan

Hey y'all! Recently I have been noticed that God's plans are unexpected. I've seen friends who are perfect for each other finally start dating after flirting for a while. I've also seen 2 people who I thought were gonna be together forever break up one day out of the blue for I don't know what reason. I've seen several couples get married & engaged after either a long time or a short time. I've also seen hearts broken & dreams smashed. Someone may get the  job they've been wanting. Other times sometime may not get one job only to get another job. This is a concept that I'm dealing struggling to accept. The key to God's plan is to be patient. We can't choose our own destiny. It just never works out. Whether good or bad, God always has a plan for what He does. He uses every situation for His glory. Everything that happens is a way that will some day honor Him. We can't pick & choose which events we want to happen or when it will happen. That only lead to pain & hurt. The good thing is that God will let you in on His plan if you listen. He could send you too a foreign country. He could change your major your last semester of college. He could place someone in your life to change your life in a certain way. Honestly I'm glad that I am not in control of my life because I would mess up everything! Just as Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I can't do anything on my own. He leads me down the right path. He lead me to education. He lead me to Ashland. He lead me to EKU. He lead meto Cru. He lead me to New York. He even lead me to Kroger. I can't wait to see where He will lead me next!

Live for God &  Live for Music!
-Patience <3 =)

Back in the South

Hey yall! So as you can probably tell from the title I'm back from Summer Project & just got back to Kentucky last night. God truly blessed me with everything this past month. I gained new brothers & sisters in Christ & got to share my joy for the Lord with total strangers at colleges, parks, & even on the street. Here are the stats that were collected on our trip:

• 325 initiated conversations

• 216 spiritual conversations

• 131 gospel presentations

• 1 Spirit filled life presentation

• 1 trusted Christ

It was one of the greatest months of my life! God gave me a heart for New York & a bigger heart for ministry. So if you didn't know there were 16 students & about 18 staff on our trip from all over the United States in different Cru's. We became like family shortly after we met. It's crazy to think how God can connect people from different walks of life. We split up into 3 groups & went to different college campuses. My group (A Team) went to NYU, NYIT (a few times), FIT (once), & Brooklyn College (twice). Most of the time we went to NYU (or more of Washington Square Park) & talked to college students from all over the world & cultures. God does truly amazing things! We also partnered with another project there (that 2 of my friends from EKU were on) & helped out with the Summer in the City/Cru High School, where we helped with after school programs in the intercities of NY. That's where 2 of my friends on my project & 1 from the other project met a 9 year old boy named Kevin who was left home alone. They talked to him a bit & found out that his parents left him at home while they went to his sister's graduation because he didn't want to go. They talked to him a bit & gave him a prayer bracelet & then asked if he wanted to accept Jesus into his life (to which he nodded yes). So cool right?! There were many stories that I could tell but I will let you message me for those. God has definitely worked in our lives & the lives of the people in the city. There is still a ton of work to be done but every step is a step closer to more lives being won for Christ. If you have a heart for missions or a heart for helping others then I really encourage going to New York to share the Gospel. 

Lastly, I'm not gonna lie but leaving New York was one of the hardest things I have done! This summer was very challenging but humbling all at the same time. I met some of my best friends & created tons of great relationships through this project. I raised suppport (which I still owe about $400 by July 10th). I initiated conversations with strangers. I lead a prayer meeting in front of a huge group. I lived in a hotel room with 3 other amazing women of God. I shared my testimony with others. All of these experiences would not have been possible without God, the staff, the other students, & everyone who has supported & prayed for me. Thank you so much for everything! God isn't done with me yet but this is just the first stop on a long adventure into the mission field. I didn't know how much I could change in one month. It's going to take a while to adjust to not seeing the same friends every day but I know I can count on the community of others to get me through even my toughest days. So that is all for now, but I really just wanted to say thank you all once again for your thoughts & prayers. It means so much!

Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)

NYC Summer Project 2014

Hey yall! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, but I've been in NYC since May 30th & am here until June 30th with Cru. I can now honestly say this has been the best & most challenging experience I have ever experienced, but I wouldn't change it for the world! If you don't know what a summer project is, it is a mission trip that Cru does & different people sign up to go to different places all over the world for anywhere from 2-10 weeks in the summer depending on the specific project. NYC specifically is 1 month & we work on various college campuses in New York to talk to people & see what the spiritual atmosphere is on that campus while also sharing the Gospel & evangelizing with those that we come in contact with. No one, that I know of, has come to Christ yet but with a city of only 2% Christian we have met tons of other believers in the city. I am truly blessed to be able to do life with 15 other students & 18 staff that are on this project. We have quickly become a family! It's so amazing to see what God can do in just the 3 & a half weeks that we have been here already! Also, I have been fortunate enough to serve on music team for a week then get switched to prayer team. God has challenged me to step out of my bubble & try new things that I would otherwise not be able to do if it were not for going on summer project. I have fallen in love with NY & am really sad to be leaving this place & the people that I have met. I will be able to see most of them at Encounter, but some I will not see until project reunion.

I have several stories, but the one that I want to share is about a guy that my friend, Matt, & I talked to. This guy's name was Sebastian & he was a geology major at Brooklyn College who believed in The Big Bang Theory & fought everything we tried to tell him about God. He grew up going to Catholic school until 8th grade but refused to believe in what the Bible says & the stories in it even exist. It was like pulling teeth with this kid! After talking to him for about an hour, with his view not changing, we were finally able to end the conversation with him. Looking back I could have said more but I know he wouldn't have listened. God placed me & Matt in that situation for a reason, & if anything we can say that Sebastian has heard the Gospel. He wasn't rejecting us, he was rejecting God. It was SO frustrating! But I know that we did all that we could. That's the cool thing about God, a month ago I would have given up & fallen to pieces over one conversation I had with this guy that went south, & now here I am standing back & seeing all the doors that are now open for God to get into his life & tear him down to the point that he could come crawling to God for repentance & asking to give his life to Christ. There are tons more stories I could share but each one of them points back to the awesome truth that GOD IS GOOD! No matter what I do I know that I am a daughter of the living God & there is nothing that can change that! How cool is that concept?! I know that if I had came last year my life would be totally different than it is now, but I know that this is God's will for me. He placed me here at this moment to write this post for a certain reason that will be used to further his kingdom. Hallelujah! Praise God! I am so humbled by all that He has done & hopefully I will be able to take what I have learned back to Harrodsburg & Richmond & share it with everyone around me.


This week I want to leave yall with a playlist of my favorite songs that are great for just praising God in His greatness:

1. Oceans (by Hillsong United)
2. In  Christ Alone
3. How Deep the Father's Love
4. Revelation Song
5. Never Gone
6. Come Thou Fount
7. Mighty to Save
8. Free to Be Me
9. How Great is Our God
10. Warrior (by Sojourn)

That is it for this week guys! Hope yall have a great rest of the week & I will post when I can. Love yall!

Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)