Broke as a Joke

Hey yall! It's been a really long time since I've posted on here. I'm the worst blogger! But I'm finally back on here. So, what's been going on since my last post? Well, I finished up the semester & headed out to East Asia for 5 & a half weeks to do a mission trip. It was the greatest experience of my life! God did so many great & amazing things there that I can't even explain. I might make another post about my trip later. After I got back in the U.S., I took a week break from things to deal with jetlag & culture shock, which hit me a lot more than I thought it ever would. Then, I moved to Richmond to continue apartment/house hunting with Felisha, my roommate of almost 3 & a half years. Right now we're staying in a copule of our friends' rooms for the summer while we searched for a place to live. Notice I said "SEARCHED". Yep! We FINALLY found a place to live! Tomorrow we'll officially move in & be able to call it home for the first official time.

The only bad thing about moving in now is that I'm pretty much broke. I job hunted for weeks & finally got a call back from Kohl's about employment, but all that time in between meant no money coming in. & with my coffee addiction & spur-of-the-moment spending, I didn't budget well. My dad, thankfully, helped me pay for my part of the deposit plus finish paying for the rent on the room we've been staying in. My cousin, Robin, also helped me pay for the rent on our house during the 5 days that we're staying. I have a pride issue & hate oweing people money! But in this situation I had to be humbled & let them help me out. Daddy & Robin, if you're reading this, THANK YOU! You'll never know how much this means to me, & I'll pay you back once I get the money.

As Taylor Thrash once said in one of his raps, "I'm broke as a joke & I can't remember how." I do remember how, but I don't remember spending that much money. It's crazy how much money has to do with everything you do. I actually have gotten to the point where I just hate the concept of money & what it stands for. I've caught myself using it as an idol & not just trusting God to provide, which He always does. But I know it's not just me. My family makes a big deal about money too, & they stress out about my money & their money all the time. In most cases, it feels as if money is a bigger stress & worry than it ever should be. I just don't like it at all!

But this wasn't supoosed to be a blog about how evil money is. I think that money can be good, if used in the right ways.But I mainly wanted to use this blog to update you guys on what I've been up to & to tell you that I HAVE A HOUSE! I feel like more of an adult already. Now it's time to start really adulting. I'll let you know how the process is. Until then, I have VBS tonight & I'm gonna enjoy my last days of freedom before I start work on Monday. I hope you all hav a great week!

Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)

My Life as a 22 Year Old Girl

Hey y'all! Sorry I haven't posted in a few weeks. For this week's post I wanted to just reflect on the things I've learned in my life up to now & how I've grown. At 22 they say you are "officially" an adult, & I believe it. People look at you in a more mature way. When you're 18 & technically become an adult, you're still looked at as immature & still a bratty teen. Even at 21 people see you as someone who is still in their "party years" & it's as if they expect you to go out & drink because you are legally allowed to now. The difference is quite surreal from 21 to 22. I never believed when people said that it would make a difference, but it's like your whole world flips. At this age, you are looked more as a grown-up & you begin to feel that your entering the real world. For me, I was supposed to graduate in May like most college seniors who go 4 years to college & then graduate on time. As for myself, I still have another year & a half, & it feels weird. But I know there are others just like me who don't graduate "on time" & it doesn't seem to phase them at all. Another aspect that changed when I turned 22 was relationships & babies. Before 22 I wasn't into babies & I wanted a relationship but not like DESPARATELY wanted one, & now it's like I dream of having the perfect wedding, having kids one day, aww-ing over cute kids more than normal, & getting super sad that I'm single. It's the weirdest thing! 22 has also realize who I am, but I'm also in more of a discovery mode. I know what music I like. What movies I like. My style. My type. Everyday I feel that I am discovering more things about myself. I'm young enough to travel around & try new things, & yet I'm old enough to know what things I should & shouldn't do. I can still have a child-like heart but also be mature. I know what I believe & who I believe in. I am stronger in my faith in God. I'm going on trips & doing things for God's will & not my own. I have friends who I can trust. With everything going on I feel that I also have more responsibilities & expectations. I'm expected to have a job & find a place to live. I have a responsibility to be a person that younger people can look up to. I'm expected to go out & share my faith with others. I am responsible for getting all of my homework turned in on time. I'm expected to not conform to society. I'm expected to have fun. Mostly, I'm expected to be me.

"To Love" vs. "In Love"

Hey y'all! Recently I have been thinking about the difference between "loving" someone vs. "being in love with" someone. This is a topic that I think is a hot topic in our culture. Nowadays, people (mostly young people) say the words "I love you" like it's just part of their everyday vocabulary, but it's a much bigger deal to say that L word than some may think. According to Webster's Dictionary, the definition of love is: "a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person; attraction that includes sexual desire; the strong affection felt by people who have a romantic relationship; a person you love in a romantic way." The biblical definition of love, in comparison, comes from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV): "4 Love is patient, love is kind, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away." I think from both of these definitions that love isn't just one simple thing. I also think that there is a difference between "to love" & "to be in love". We say we "love" random things or people: pizza, coffee, someone's hair or outfit, a movie, a song, a hobby, etc. If we are going by these definitions, it doesn't fit either one. That is in the category of "to love". "To love" means that you have strong feelings for something, but there isn't any action behind those feelings. We say it, but we don't do anything about it. The other side of this is "to be in love with". This is what both definitions are talking about. You are "in love with" someone & would do whatever you could for that person. You want what is best for them & care for them as yourself. You don't expect anything from that person except the love that you have for them. I think that you truly know that you love someone when you actually get to fully know them inside & out. It's also not a chore or a demand that you love this person, but you love them because you want to. I see this frequently in marriages at my church. These couples have known each other for years & know their spouse from every aspect of them, from the inside out. They sacrifice for each other & do things for the other because they genuinely want to. They set examples of what true love is for their children & for everyone who comes in contact with them. I'm not saying that you have to be married to be "in love" with someone, but I do think that you have to think about whether you could see yourself married to them for the rest of your life. You don't just want to be with them for the physical stuff, but you are also emotionally & spiritually connected to them. If you're a Christian, you love God more than them, but they are the 2nd in line. This should also be mutual. In a Christian relationship you should both seek to please God above anything else with your relationship. They should not only be your other half, but they should also be your best friend. Like the verses say, you should be able to trust each other & be patient with each other & whatever else comes along with it. Even if you are not a Christian, you should want to be with that person through the good times & the hard times. It shouldn't just be a part-time thing. You shouldn't just brush it off. You should strive everyday to strengthen your relationship. So, in summary, the difference in "to love" vs. "in love" is the feeling behind what how you feel & how much you are willing to endure for the other person. Love should not be a word that you throw around. It should mean something to you. It should not be taken lightly. I know that I have never experienced true love with anyone but God, but from what I have observed from others & have been taught through wise people that I look up to, I think that if I am ever in a serious relationship that I would take all of this in common before I tell him that I love him. These are just my thoughts, but I would encourage you to think it over & tell me your opinion on the topic.

To go along with this post, I decided that I should add a top 10 songs list. I haven't done one of these in a while, so here is my list:

1. "Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop" by Landon Pigg
2. "You and Me" by Lifehouse
3. "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis
4. "I Like You" by Ben Rector
5. "Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran
6. "Bright" by Echosmith
7. "Still Into You" by Paramore
8. "God Gave Me You" by Blake Shelton (not a country fan but I love this version of the song)
9. "Mirrors" by Justin Timberlake
10. "You Found Me" by The Fray

Live for God & Love for Music!

-Patience <3 =)

What Music Means to Me

Hey y'all! As you may have guessed from the name of my blog, I LOVE music! Today I thought I would explain what music means to me. It's been a huge part of my life since I was very young. I remember wanting to grow up & be a singer since the time I was able to sing. My first experience of music that I can remember was at church. Every Sunday & Wednesday I would go & sing my little heart out to all the hymns. I joined the choir. I sang in the Christmas & Easter plays. I sang solos all the time at church. Aside from church, I also had a house that was filled with music. I think I know so many different kinds of songs now because of being surrounded by it. Usually, the TV was tuned to MTV (when they still played music videos a ton & TRL was a thing), VH1 (same reasons), & CMT (my parents listened to it more than I did). It's crazy the things that you can remeber from so long ago! Even though I don't personally listen to a lot of the songs I heard growing up, I can immediately name the song, artist, & lyrics. This is a skill according to my friends. Now that I'm older & able to appreciate music more, I love music even more than I did. It's now an outlet for me. I love finding new music & introducing others to new music. Whatever mood that I'm in, I can find a playlist for it. Spotify, iTunes, YouTube, & Pandora have made it easy for me to access a world of music. At church I can express my love for God through hymns & contemporary songs. Music to me is my passion. I can play saxophone, a little piano, & a little recorder, so my main way of expression of through singing. I love singing in my room, in the car, when hanging with friends, when I'm alone, sometimes in the shower, & a few times on YouTube. I feel like God gave me the gift of music for a reason. If I can use my musical ability to serve God, I'm all about it. I love the experience that I get from listening to music. I can listen to one song or artist a million times & get something different from it each time. It's like reading the Bible; I can read a verse or passage several times & each time is a new thing I get out of it. With music I get to figure out what I like & what I don't. I get to share it with others or keep it to myself. Through my love of music I've also gotten the opportunity to meet musicians that I otherwise would have never met if I hadn't branched out of my music box. I have gotten to go to some great concerts & festivals & meet artists who have connections to others. For example, I met The Great Commission back in high school, & a little while after that I found out that they were in Taylor Swift's music video "I Knew You Were Trouble". Recently, I also got to see Abe Parker,who I've known for almost 5 years, in concert, & he just so happened to be opening for Ben Rector. He's also previously played with Andy Grammer. It's awesome to see what God has done for me in regards to opportunities. I also have met friends who are so freaking talented that I can barely contain how excited I am to see them flourish in their music. My friend Mike Pennino, for example, is a freaking talented free-style Christian rapper. He can make up any rap on the spot & makes it flow no matter what. A few months ago, he was able to get into the recording studio & finally record tracks that he had written a while ago. I can't wait to see how God uses him with it! I have a ton of talented friends! It's God's little reminder of how much he's blessed me with music, even if it doesn't affect me personally. So what does music mean to me? Music, to me, is the reminder from God that He'll always be there with me through the music. Just as I always have music with me, I also always have God with me. It could be the sound of rain or a concert from one of my favorite bands. I want to do something with music in whatever I do with life, & I want to use it to glorify God. Maybe I won't be a popstar or a YouTube sensation, like I've always dreamt of. But I know that music has a special place in my life for a reason. Until that day I'll enjoy what musical abilities I have. That's what music means to me. What does it mean to you?

Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)

Out of My Mind Series #6: My "Princess" Moment

Hey y'all! For the past couple of weeks, I've been binge watching Gossip Girl on Netflix. I'm kinda ashamed to admit it, but I'm addicted to it already (hence the binge watching). Because of this, I started thinking more about how much I longed for a relationship like Dan & Serena's at the beginning of the season. The way that Dan looks at Serena is like he sees only her. She's the only person in a crowded room. Nobody else matters in that moment. He constantly thought about her, & he couldn't wait until he could see her again. I know what you may be thinking: "but they didn't last" (spoiler alert!). I know that, but in the beginning of their relationship, it was romantic. They couldn't help but stay away, & even through their fights, they still managed to find their way back to each other. It reminds me of the classic princess fairytales. The prince & princess are in the same room as each other. All of a sudden, the prince sees the princess, & it's like in that moment he sees no one else but her. His full attention is focused on her. The other aspect that I love is that the prince isn't afraid to walk up to the beautiful princess & tell her EXACTLY how he feels. I may not be the most girly or romantic girl, but I do want a moment like that. Especially with formal being tomorrow night, I always imagine my "prince" coming to ask me to dance & then paying attention to me as if I was the only other person in the room. Sounds crazy right?! But it's what almost every girl fantasizes about. She wants to feel special. She wants all the attention, from that one guy, to be solely on her. I call it "the princess moment". With this generation, especially the guys at my college, they are told repeatedly to "man up" & tell girls how they feel. They're supposed to ask us on a date. They're supposed to initiate conversation. We (girls) are supposed to stand back & let them make that move. In the Christian community in the south it's stressed even more. The problem is that most guys chiken out & blame it on "God hasn't given me a sign to go ahead & ask her. It must not be the right time." If I've learned anything about God, it's that He could be telling you to do something & you're just not listening, or He could be waiting for you to do something so that He can steer you in the right direction. I shouldn't be thinking about this kind of stuff right now with everything else stacking up in my life, but I'm a human & a girl. Our minds go 50 billion miles an hour thinking about this topic specifically. We take every little gesture & over analyze it. "Did he just smile at me?" "Does he think I'm cute?" "Wow! That was embarassing! He'll never talk to me again!" "Do I look okay today?" "Why isn't he paying attention to me?" "Is he looking at her?" "What's wrong with me?" "What does she have that I don't?" These thoughts are stupid, but they're common questions in a girl's mind. For most girls, or at least the ones I know, only want to find their "prince", settle down, get married, & have a family. These thoughts come up more often around dances, weddings, when becomes "Facebook official" with someone else, when someone gets married, when someone has kids, & when we watch/listen/read anything romantic. It's these things that grip our attention. The worst part of it is waiting for those events to happen to us. We're happy for that person in that moment, but sometimes in side we're slightly jealous & start to ask the same questions again & have self-doubt. With Cru formal approaching VERY soon, & the fact that I'm single at 22, I am having that image of my "princess" moment & ask all of the questions more than ever. I dream about it. I yearn for it. It's a pitiful way to think about it. I know that God has a plan for me, but as I've stated in other blogs, I'm really impatient. I've started looking back at past realtionships & guys that I "talked" to once & question why things never worked out with us. Was it me? Was it him? Was it mutual? What am I missing? Those stupid questions! Oh well, if that moment is meant to be then it'll happen. Until then I'll keep dreaming of my "princess" moment to happen. Things will be okay.

Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)

Out of My Mind Series #5: Flavor of the Week

Hey y'all! It's been quite a week. We've been snowed in since last Sunday night & were just able to get out of the dorm yesterday (after we dug out my car from under all the piles of snow. I think we got 10-12 inches, so you can imagine the suprise we got when we woke up Monday morning to see snow covering every square inch of the outdoors. It was like a winter wonderland times 4. For an introvert, even that was way too much. I've only seen Felisha & Lauren for the past 6 days. I love them but I can only take so much time being in the same dorm with no place to go. So today,  the 3 of us decided to come to our favorite place in Richmond,  Purdy's. We go here when we need to get off campus & just relax for a few hours & forget about school. Also,  they serve the BEST coffee I've ever tasted. I'm actually writing this blog from there as we speak. The people areally friendly. The coffee is amazing. & the atmosphere is cool. There aren't enough words to describe what this place means to me. The best part is that the family who owns it are Christian,  so usually there will be Christian music & covers quietly playing in the background. If you couldn't tell already,  I LOVE THIS PLACE! It's a good conclusion to snow week. Now I can start fresh with another week & press onward with my semester.

That's all I got for now. Have a great week & stay warm.

Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)

An Unexpected Event

Hey y'all! Sorry I haven't posted in quite a while. I've been super busy with school, Cru, church, & hanging out with friends, but I'm back & I'm gonna try to post at least once a week. Today's topic is a littler more serious than most. At my college last week, there was a gun threat written on the walls of one of the bathrooms in a building on campus (I'll post a link to the article explianing the threat more). The message on the bathroom stall said, "BRINGING GUN TO HERE 2-11-15 DEAD STUDENTS". I've always seen it on t.v. but never would have thought that it could happen at EKU. Before this I had felt very safe on campus, even while walking in the dark on the way back from class or Bible Study. This threat though has made me very anxious and scared. I'm scared that I will be blind-sided & shot at. Even worse, I'm scared that others could be injured or killed. We don't know who wrote the threat or who is being targeted. The campus has cops patroling the whole campus, but that still doesn't ease my fear. It all goes back to my post about my worst fears. Not knowing what will happen is part of my fear of the unknown. No one knows how to react to the situation. This could be real, or it could be a host. They could be targeting a religion, race, gender, sorority/fraternity, or just randomly. My only saving grace is that I have a relationship with God, & I know I'm going to Heaven. But what does that mean for those who haven't been saved? They could be shot & killed & never have the opportunity to hear the Gospel & accept it. I wish that I could be more bold to share my faith in public & to reach others, but my fear always keeps me from speaking up. Another thing that scares me about this whole situation is that campus is not closed, but some people will still be going to class or just walking out & about. I think that it was smart not to close, but they send updates that could very well be reaching any of the shooters, which could make them decide to change the day & time of the shootings. There's also the thoughts of being scared for no reason, or not being more cautious of what could happen. The whole thing just rubs me the wrong way & makes me way more uncomfortable than I should be. It's all in God's hands what happens though & all I can do is pray for safety. That's all I have for this week y'all. Keep our campus in your prayers this week.

Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)

Link to article: http://www.lex18.com/story/28068389/eku-official-reveal-graffiti-threat