Light in the Midst of Darkness

Over the past few weeks it seems as if our world has been dealing with so many terrible tragedies. Shootings, bombings, hate, crime, misery, disaster. All of this is showing how worldly our planet he really is. Satan is using all of these things to make us turn against each other, and in some of those cases, even turn away from God. It's so sad! There is some light in the middle of it though. For instance, the Orlando shootings of Christina Grimmie & the gay club inspired people all over the Earth to get the media involved in spreading the love. Granted that also sparked more hate, but it also brought together people who would in any other situation be mortal enemies. People's true intentions came out. In the recent Dallas shootings, we see the issue of racism reappearing in a major way. But in another light, I saw my pastor break down and get passionate about how hurt he is that racism affects his 2 black sons, which he is a white man btw, and it affects his friends who are cops. This, too, sparked the hashtags #BlackLivesMatter and #AllLivesMatter. In either case, I heard a good point from the lead pastor of Ashland Avenue Baptist Church in Lexington. He said that we should be saying #ProLife, because we should be against taking the life of ANY human being. There are may more issues across the world that have occurred too, but instead of focusing on the negative, I think that we should be looking for ways to spread the love of Jesus to the people going through this. As a Christian, it's super hard to not want to jump in and be extremely angry. Rightly, I am angry, but I've also learned to pray about it and give it to God. He will always point us in the right direction. I know that I can't fix everything, but I can be supportive for someone else who is going through something way worse than I can even fathom. I choose to see how God can use these situations, no matter the outcome. Satan is coming at us hard, and he wants us to be at each others throats and to cause chaos. But what is that gonna do? He uses tragedies to get under our skin, and he wants us to get so passionate that our anger turns to rage and terror. The thing to remember is that God is still Lord, and just as we sang today at church, "Jesus is better." Jesus is better than the murderers. Jesus is better than hate. Jesus is better than crime. Jesus is better! So, I'm choosing to see the Light in the midst of all the darkness in our world. I'm sad to see the Earth in this condition, but all I can do is pray for God to do with it what He sees fit. In all things remember that Jesus is better than anything we could imagine, good or bad. So are you gonna thrive on the negative, or are you gonna give it to God and be there to support those who are hurting? Those are just my opinions. I know some may disagree, and that's okay. As Pastor Jeremy said this morning, "I DON'T CARE!"

Live for God & Love for Music!
- Patience <3 =)

Graduation? Ireland? Student Teaching? Weddings? Tests? Work? GoFundMe? Money?

Hey yall! So it's officially summer, which means I am officially a Student Teacher. That's right! Only one more semester left for this girl, but with that semester comes a lot of things that I have to get done in a few months. Crazy! My roommate. Felisha, graduated last night, and it was a surreal thing to think that she is no longer a college student. Even crazier than that is that I'll be in her shoes come December. You would think that I'd be super excited and not so stressed now that school is out, but nahh! I'm currently remembering everything coming up. First, I have to pay rent, a car loan, a house loan, Wifi, gas, groceries, and Netflix (which I share with my dad and best friend). All of that is due with the little amount of paycheck that I get from working at Kohl's, so I would need AT LEAST 25 hours a week to pay for my bills. If that wasn't enough, I also want to have a life this summer, that also  includes going to my friends' weddings (that's right, multiple weddings). So, I'm trying to figure out how to balance the 2. Next, I have to take my PLT and Praxis II exams sometime before I graduate, and actually probably before I leave for Ireland in November. In order to graduate, I have to pass BOTH tests, and they'll both cost a bit more money. Also, speaking of Ireland, I still have to raise the funds for that, which I'm still not clear on all of the details yet.

It's a struggle, but I think I found some answers to my problems. I could have a huge yard sale and sell a ton of things that I don't wear/use anymore. I also thought about creating a GoFundMe page. With this, it's basically asking for money, but I think it's a way for me to keep everyone updated on my progress, and I get to see personally who is helping out, so I can send them Thank You cards/gifts from Ireland. I don't regret any of it, and I know that God will provide a way to make sure everything is taken care of. I just need to trust Him with support and just live my life to the fullest for His Glory.

In no way am I saying, "Woest me!" I'm mentally braking down my next few months, and figuring out the best way to financially and mentally go about being responsible, but not making those things such as money, an idol. I can't stress out. That won't help. I'm not gonna cry. That won't fix anything. I can't put life on hold. That's just plain stupid! The only thing I can do is move forward.

I say all of this to say that I am doing big things with my future. I've come too far to give up now. I see my friends graduating this weekend and look at their accomplishments. It helps me to remember that if they can do it, then I can do it! Nobody said school would be easy, but I'm at a place in my life now where I'm beginning to find my passion for teaching again, and I'm legitimately excited to see where I will be come December, when I get to walk across stage and hopefully inspire people to keep pursuing their dreams and to not give up, no matter how hard life gets. I actually had that reminder from Felisha and from my 5th grade students. (To be so young, they were so wise.)

So yeah, that's my life and near future. School and Ireland and work and weddings and summer and such. (Sorry for the poor grammar.) So tell me, what would you suggest I do, GoFundMe or yard sale or both, or maybe you have another idea? And if you're graduating college or high school, CONGRATS! You did it! :D

Have a great day and a great week!

Live for God and Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)

Double Rainbow, Double Promises

I've been through a roller coaster of a week. I started the week by thinking my radiator was broken, to having the mechanic think it was my timing belt and water pump, back to thinking it was my radiator, to having my car die out of nowhere, to wondering if I was gonna be able to make it to school or work, to wondering if I could take and pick up my roommate from work, to wondering if I would make it home from work, to stressing about projects, to relaxing on days off, to learning worrying if I would have enough for my rent and my loan, to finding out my car is unsafe to drive, to worrying about just any little small thing. Luckily, I have friends who helped talk me through situations. Tonight was the beginning to a week that I thought would never end. I looked up into the sky and saw, not one rainbow, but two. To anyone else, it may just be a beautiful sight, but to me it meant that things would be okay. It was God's way of promising that I would be fine and that there was no need to stress the little things. He reminded me that I don't have to worry about what others think of me or what I think of myself. He reminded me that I don't have to impress anyone or worry about letting anyone down. All that I have to worry about is serving Him and spreading His Good News. I mean, we just celebrated Easter, which was the day that He proved He could conquer death, yet I sit here and worry about how I will get to clinicals on Wednesday. I don't have to worry. He's already taken care of that! In the Old Testament, God sent a rainbow as a promise that He would never flood the Earth again and that He would never forsake His people. For me, He promised that things would work out in His time and His plans are MUCH bigger and better than mine. With the help of Felisha, I realized that my car finally breaking down was the thing I had been asking for for about 3 years. When I first got the news I broke down and cried, because I was afraid of the future and what the next step was gonna be for me finding a new car, but I realized that I have all the resources I need around me, and God provided all of that. In the same way, I worried about Ireland, and who would be angry/disappointed if I go, and who would be angry/disappointed if I stay. But God has proven time and time again that it doesn't matter if they agree, but He will make a way for me if He wants me to go. As long as I am in His will, everything else is meaningless. If God doesn't have His hand in the situation, then there is no reason to do it. These two small rainbows tonight turned my week upside down and reminded me to the multiple promises God has made that He will never leave me and will always keep His promises. I don't need to stress the details. I have to leave the results up to Him! In these hectic times, especially at the end of a semester, we forget that God has promised us all of these things, but we put too much time in things of the world. When I get to Heaven no one is going to remember if I got a good grade on a quiz or if I taught a lesson poorly. The only thing they will remember is that I followed Christ and lived a life according to His will. I am extremely blessed with more than I deserve. It takes small instances like this to knock me back to reality and enjoy God's little blessings. So, if you ever feel like you're losing control of your life, remember that God has you in the palm of His hands and is never letting go. His ways are better than ours, and He does it out of love and compassion for His children. There is nothing to fear when you have God on your side! Just remember the rainbow and all that it holds dear.

Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)

Ireland and New Tattoos

Hey yall! It's been a bit since I've posted, which is a common thing that tends to keep happening. I feel that school and work have been dictating my life recently. Even my Spring Break is going to be filled with completing major assignments and working. But for now, I have a few moments to chill and enjoy blogging.
In case you missed it, I have also gotten my first tattoo since the last time I posted. Remember when I posted about the meaning of why I wanted the tattoo? Well all of those reasons convinced me that I really did want to get the battle scars heart as my first tattoo. So when my roommate decided to set up an appointment to start on her next tattoo, I decided to tag along and try to see if I could do a walk-in. It eventually happened after about 4 hours sitting and watching my roommate get her tattoo done (btw she still has 1 more session to go to finish the tattoo).We went to Bleed Blue in Lexington, and there is definitely a reason why they are the #1 tattoo shop in KY. I'm beyond pleased by the results!

Here's a sideways view of it:

The other big thing that recently happened is that I learned that I got accepted to do half of my student teaching in Ireland! :D I'm so freaking excited! I'll be in Dublin for 3 weeks and Belfast for 1 week. The trip is almost $5,000 (not including airfare). Financial aid should cover that, but Ireland is too good of an opportunity to miss. My family isn't too happy, but then again what family would be happy apparently about their only child going another country for a month. Yay opportunities!

So that's been my past few weeks. Exciting stuff! Now if I could only get past these Methods classes and get to May, I'll be set.

But that's all for now. How are you guys? Anything exciting happening? Having a good week? Let me know. Until the next post, have a great day!

Live for God & Love for Music!

-Patience <3 =)

Trapped in My House

Hey yall! If you aren't aware, Snow Storm Jonas has impacted the U.S. Here in Kentucky we got around 10-18 inches, depending on where you live. Currently, I'm looking outside of my window & my car is almost completely covered, & I can't see our driveway. I haven't been outside since Thursday night. Some good things came out of snow strom: I'm getting to chill in my onesie while drinking coffee & watching YouTube, Netflix, etc. I also got all my homework done, which is a plus for me since I am the queen of procrastination. The down-side to the snow is that I can't go anywhere & the coldness seeps into our house when the door is opened, which happened when our roommates from upstairs came down to visit last night. All-in-all, I can't really complain. As long as I don't have to get out in it, I'm perfectly fine with the snow. It's actually really pretty. The sucky part is when I have to venture out to dig my car out from the piles of snow loading my car & entrapping me in my little alley/hill of a driveway. It's too small for a cleaning truck, & we really have no neighbors to shovel it (we also don't have a shovel ourselves). So, it's up to us to get out. I keep havoing flashbacks to last year, when I was stuck on campus in the snowpocalypse of 2015. Back then, I lived in a dorm & only had to worry about walking to class. This year, I have to worry about driving/walking to class on Monday & driving to work on Tuesday. I would try to get to church, but my roommate & I already decided that we would spend tomorrow trying to digging my car out, instead of risking our lives to drive to church in my sketchy, almost broken down & beat up Kia Sportage. Yeah, let's just say it's a wonder that car survived last snow storm. So, for now, I finished my homework, & my only other responsibility is to enjoy my time off & maybe be more productive later (HUGE maybe!). It's crazy how I can say that I've lived through multiple snow storms. At only 23, I have SURVIVED the snowpocalypse of 2015 & 2016. What?! Crazy! This will be a story I tell my potential kids one day. They won't believe me. But, anyway, I'm getting off on another topic. The point is, I SURVIVED! But I'm still kinda stuck in my house, so I'll update you if I made it out of my house.

If Jonas is currently affecting you, I hope you're safe. Don't go out unless you have to. & in general, I hope everyone has a great week! See ya in the next post!

Live for God & Love for Music!
-Patience <3 =)

How's it going 2016?!

Hey yall! Happy 2016! It's strange to think that it's already a new year. I feel like it just turned 2000 like a few years ago, not 16 years. As I was thinking back to 2015, I realized that a lot of things happened. I went to Asia. I got a new job at Kohl's. I rented my first house. I went to my last Encounter. I just did a ton of cool things last year! As far as 2016 goes, I know that big things are gonna happen. I'm going into Methods this semester (next to last semester for education majors). I'm student teaching in the fall. I graduate in December! I'm headed back to NYC with some women, from church, and my roommate for a few days (YAY!). Those are all the things I know of right now, but I have a few goals for this year. I guess you could call them resolutions, but I'm just gonna say goals.

1.  I want to grow more in my walk with Christ.
2.  I want to be a better Bible Study leader, by staying more on top of things, such as discipleship.
3. I want to be less of a procrastinator.
4. I want to watch more movies.
5. I want to read more books.
6. I want to listen to more artists and bands.
7. I want to figure out more of what I want to do in my life. 
8. I want to travel more and go on adventures.
9. I want to learn to be more trusting. 
10. I want to learn a different language/build on languages I kinda know.
11. I want to be more studious.
12. I want to eat a little better.
13. I want to blog more.
14. I want be the best worker I can be.
15. I want to be the best student I can be. 
16. I want to be the best daughter I can be.
17. I want to be the best sister I can be.
18. I want to be the best friend that I can be.
19. I want to be the best disciple I can be.
20. I want to be more social. 
21. I want to be more spontaneous.
22. I want to not be afraid to fail. 
23. I want to get a better car. 
24. I want to get a better computer.
25. I want to learn to budget my money.
26. I want to learn to cook.
27. I want to get on a better sleep schedule.
28. I want to have more quiet times.
29. Lastly, I want to have no regrets.

I know that I won't be able to accomplish these things all this year, and I can't do them all alone. A lot of these goals are long-term goals, while others are short-term goals. But that's the great thing about goals, they're not all the same. As I get older, I want to have things crossed off my list, so that I can add more. 

Here's my question for you: What are some of your 2016/life goals? 

That's all for this post. Hope you have an amazing new year! See ya in the next blog.

Live for God & Love for Music!

-Patience <3 =)

One Thing With Multiple Meanings

It's been so long since I've posted on here! Sorry I've been gone. Between life, school, work, church, and everything in between, I haven't been able to just sit down and write. But now that I'm on Christmas break, I have a lot more time to focus on fun things, like reading and writing more blog posts. I miss this.

So, back to my normal greeting...Hey yall! So, I've talked about wanting to get a tattoo for a few years, but until recently it didn't become real until recently, because me and my roommate have been talking about getting tattoos soon (possibly this month if we have the money). My original idea for my tattoo was to get the lyric: "We've all got battle scars"  (from a Paradise Fears song called "Battle Scars") with the battle scars heart somewhere within the tattoo, on my left shoulder. When I had this idea, I thought about the symbolism behind it, and I wanted it to be somewhere that couldn't be seen because I'm an education major. Well, a few weeks ago I modified the idea of how and where I wanted this tattoo. The premise is still the same, but I switched it up to fit me better.

You may be wondering what my idea is now. Well, I'm gonna tell ya. It all started when I was at work, with no customers waiting, and I began to draw the battle scars heart on my left wrist. I continued to do this for a while. I mean I even draw this heart on just about every piece of paper I can, and apparently my skin is no exception. So, I decided to change the tattoo from my shoulder to my wrist, and I'm cutting out the lyrics (from this tattoo at least, but it may appear on my body one day in another tattoo).

Unless you're a Paradise Fears fan (otherwise called a Turtle) like me, then you probably don't know what I mean by a battle scars heart. A battle scars heart is the image on the front of the band's album titled "Battle Scars", and it's a heart with all pointed edges insted of rounded edges. Also, on the cover, it looks as if it has been painted on there. I really like look of it!

For me personally this tattoo represents a few things for me:

1. It represents one of my all time favorite bands, Paradise Fears. I've listened to their music since sometime my senior year of high school, which was almost 5 years ago. To this day, I think that they hands down have the greatest lyrically written songs in the history of music. It's not your typical cooke cutter pop punk music, they have a style all their own. I  HIGHLY recommend checking them out on Spotify, iTunes, YouTube, or any other place to stream music. Their music speaks to me on a deep level, and I just relate a lot to their songs. Plus, they just happen to be a group of extremely attractive men, who are around my age. And Sam Miller has the voice of an angel! But now I'm getting off on another topic. Just check them out. (They also just dropped their new album "Life in Real Time"! :D)
2. It represents my favorite lyric from their album "Battle Scars". The full lyric that I originally based the tattoo off of is: "You know we've all got battle scars. Keep marching on." Like I said earlier, it comes from the song "Battle Scars". To me, this lyric is a reminder to keep going when things get tough. I can always pick myself up again, and keep going. That's the thing I love about this song. I am always reminded to never give up, no matter how hard life gets. I could flunk out of college, and it's okay, because I'm still alive. My heart is still beating. I still have a God who loves me. I still have friends and family who love me. Life is still good.
3. That brings me to the third meaning of why I want this tattoo. It reminds me that I'm not perfect, and God doesn't expect me to be. Everyone makes mistakes in life. We're sinners! But Jesus died on the cross for our imperfect souls, which I think is the coolest thing EVER! I mean, He could have let us go to Hell , but instead Jesus said, "Father please forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." It's true that it was the Romans who did that, and not me and you, but in all reality, we are crucifying Him again on the cross every time that we sin against Him. That lyric, referenced above, gives me hope that all I have to do is ask God to forgive my sins, and it's all taken care of because Jesus died on the cross. And Jesus is the only person who is perfect, which means EVERYONE is imperfect. I'm not alone in this. It's mind-blowing to think about! PF probably didn't mean for this meaning when they wrote the song, but that's the thing with music, a song can mean one thing to someone, and something completely different for another person.

Those are the three reasons why I want the tattoo. As for the change up, the first reason was that I realized that I was gonna be the only person to see the tattoo, and I would have to look in a mirror just to see it. For all the reasons that I want it, I think it would be silly to get it somewhere that I couldn't really see it to be reminded of it. Secondly, I've seen other education majors with visible tattoos. If they can get away with it, then so can I. If nothing else, I'll hide it with makeup since it's gonna be small. Thirdly, I took out the quote mostly because I didn't have enough room on my wrist for it, and I was having trouble figuring out how I wanted the tattoo. The scariest thing about tattoos is that they're permanent, so if I gotten it and regretted it, it would take a ton more money and pain to get it removed. Not worth it! 

The funniest thing is, I forgot I had drawn it on my wrist the other day in pen, and when I got home, I was doing my hair and forgot it was there. So for a brief moment I was freaked out because I thought I had gotten it tattooed already and didn't remember it. In my defense though, I worked a long shift that day and dealt with tons of people. Sleepiness and confusion just don't work. Below I added a rough picture of how I've been drawing it. When I actually do get it though, I'll probably make it like the album cover version, which will also be posted below.

The heart that I've been drawing on my wrist a lot recently.

The battle scars heart from Paradise Fear's album "Battle Scars". The original cover is black with a gold heart, but I found the just black version on Google. I like this better for a tattoo idea.

Well yall, that's all I have for you this post. I'll try to do better at posting. I'll update you if I actually get my tattoo. But until then, have a great week/weekend, and I'll be back in the next post.

Live for God & Love for Music!

-Patience <3 =)