Rejection

     Rejection. We've all been through it. It sucks! One minute you're on top of the world. And then, in a heartbeat you get crushed. It's like the whole world crumbles around you. It's not always romatically being rejected, but it could be from former friends, a job position, or even a total stranger. Recently, it happened to me 3 times in the past week. And shockingly, they all happened while I was at work.
     The first time was by a former friend. See the thing with this "friendship" was that I don't even know why we stopped talking. We were fine one day, and then the next she randomly started drifting farther away, until we just never saw or spoke to her for a VERY long time. This past week I was just doing my job and cleaning up the store, like I usually do. And out of the corner of my eye I saw her from the other side of the store. Knowing our previoud run-ins, where she got all awkward when myself and another friend tried to talk to her, I decided to just stay where I was in plain sight and just wait until she got closer to try to say hi. Well, to my disbelief, I look up right at the moment that I see her make a detour around where I was standing, just to avoid me.
     Normally, I wouldn't have been as bothered. But I literally have NO IDEA what I did to this girl. To put it in perspective, we were basically best friends and kinda roommates at one point. And now, for her to act as if I were a complete stranger, it stung a bit. But I guess that's what happens when friends drift apart.
      The second occurance was even more shocking! This person was someone that I recently was close to, dare I say we were friends and had several conversations when she would come into the store EVERY WEDNESDAY after dropping her daughter off at church. So needless to say, when this happened, I was hurt and confused as to what I had done.
       Let me break it done for you. So as I said, she comes in EVERY Wednesday. Which means that she can't use the excuse that she didn't know I would be there. I had noticed her walk by me a few weeks in a row without saying anything to me, but I was always in a place where I just assumed she hadn't seen me or something, or maybe she was just very busy and didn't have time to talk. I mean I get that. BUT this time, a coworker and I were coming out of the breakroom, and we were having a conversation. As we're going down the tiny market aisle, I catch a glimpse of this friend from the corner of my eye. I only didn't say anything first, because I was in the midst of a conversation. But what I did see, was that she had made eye contact with me when I saw her out of the corner of my eye. But when I went to turn around, her face was turn in the complete opposite direction, as if she didn't see me at all, which I know was impossible when there were only 3 of us in this tiny aisle.
      And once again, I was upset and confused as to why I was being ignored and rejected by someone I called a friend. Was it because of my liberal views? Was it because I hadn't been coming to church as often as I used to? Did I offend her somehow? Who knows! But I think 3 weeks in a row shows that something is off.
      Finally, and probably the most pathetic of them all, is about a dumb boy. Granted I have only known this boy for a month, and we never made our feelings known verbally, but my anxiety and trust issues got the best of me again.
       Here's the tea. This guy was new at work. Very handsome. Very nice. Very funny. And like all the other girls in the store, I had a huge crush on him, which sadly I have a track record of doing. But I felt a special connection with this guy. We hung out at a party outside of work. We were VERY flirty. We had each other's phone numbers. We spoke on Facebook. And he seemed genuinely interested and different from the rest, or so I thought. To top it off, all my friends were encouraging me to go for it. Because he seemed like a sure thing.
        I was talking with a few friends, and to preface this another friend told me she thought he was talking to someone, and the friend says that he mentioned his "girlfriend" to her. But at the same time, homeboy was flirting with me as if he were single. Then, another friend is shocked by this fact too and says that he was extra flirty with her at the party. But then, after we find out about the girlfriend, he randomly backs off on the flirting. It was like a switch had been flipped. Leaving me thinking, once again, "What did I do?". And I know I should've seen the signs, and it's not like we were every really a thing. But the thing is, I fell hard! And I don't open up or crush on many guys, because it's always the same. I like him WAY too much, and then I get rejected because I misread signs and go for guys who aren't even in my league. And my options are to shut down in public, and then get home and overthink it all.
          So I guess you could say that I'm no stranger to rejection. But it happens to us all. The thing I'm beginning to learn is that you can't control it. And the only way to push against it is to face it head on and realize that there was a reason things happened how they did. It won't happen instantly, but slowly the hurt will vanish. It's only temporary.
           Have you faced rejection? What steps did you take to overcome it? Any ways of coping with it or taking your mind off of things? Let me know below! Hope you have a great week!

-Pay <3 :)